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sex when you have an ED?


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#1 km2002

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Posted 06 September 2021 - 11:35 AM

my bf and i have been together since before i developed an ED (he has known about it the whole time i struggled) and i was wondering if anyone else is like.. crazy hyper aware of their body looks in certain lightings, positions, underwear, etc? ik this is very personal but i don’t really talk about this with anyone 😭
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#2 life_of_fabiola

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Posted 06 September 2021 - 11:43 AM

HAHAHAHA yes.
This is my life for 12 years now.
I haaaate having sex when there is light on... ! Or when i'm having sex during the day, I'll never fully undress. My boyfriend is sooo understanding but i would love to be comfortable with him. The only time I will almost fully undress (NEVER THE BRA THO) it's when i didn't eat all day and my stomach is kinda flat.


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#3 LydiaAgain

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Posted 06 September 2021 - 12:02 PM

Definitely; I feel so self-conscious of my body, and if I'm being honest, I just feel awkward generally about how I look, act and sound during sex.  The stupid thing is, I actually love sex, but I know my shyness during the act kind of kills the mood, so my sex life is very poor these days.  


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#4 neverwantedflowers

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Posted 06 September 2021 - 02:27 PM

i will fucking look at myself in the mirror doing certain positions im insane


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#5 km2002

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Posted 06 September 2021 - 03:28 PM

i will fucking look at myself in the mirror doing certain positions im insane


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#6 Lifesachoice

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Posted 06 September 2021 - 03:30 PM

Doesn’t seem that severe if you’re still sexually active
Edit : I’m sorry this was ignorant :(

#7 km2002

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Posted 06 September 2021 - 03:33 PM

Doesn’t seem that severe if you’re still sexually active


yah i wasn’t referring to how severe the ED is, just wondering if other people dealt with the same habits as i do lol
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#8 Holyfuckk

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Posted 06 September 2021 - 08:13 PM

Honestly even if my body image isn't super bad that day, I mostly have trouble with sex drive. It's always so so low when I'm restricting.

#9 ak-png

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Posted 06 September 2021 - 08:25 PM

I never have sex with the lights fully on. my fwb tells me all the time that I have a "perfect" body and he loves how I look, but I'm so self conscious about how my stomach looks specifically that I won't let him see me with the lights on. it sucks because he's so fine and I wanna see HIM, but I can't do that without also letting him see me lol. I'm also super nervous about how he'll react when I keep losing weight, because he doesn't know about my ED and he's said several times that he likes thicker women


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#10 aloof!

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Posted 06 September 2021 - 08:30 PM

Doesn’t seem that severe if you’re still sexually active

what an awful thing to say to someone with an ed
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#11 Lifesachoice

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Posted 06 September 2021 - 09:37 PM

what an awful thing to say to someone with an ed

I’m sorry :(

#12 tadpoles

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Posted 06 September 2021 - 09:47 PM

yeah man every time my fwb sees me naked I think he'll suddenly be turned off for whatever reason. like it's been so long and I'm still legitimately surprised every time he's attracted to me lol even though I know he's super nice and has a really broad 'type'. plus we sometimes do stuff over video calls which I do enjoy but god is it ever bad for my ed because I can see myself which takes the constant body-hyper-awareness to a whole other level. I'm simultaneously paranoid that I look both too fat AND too bony to be hot and I spend the whole time half distracted by my body's position ugh


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#13 Elene_abc

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Posted 06 September 2021 - 10:54 PM

Yesssss all day every day because it burns calories.

...I hope i don't break him.

Mine is insanely high when I'm NOT restricting therefore he knows whenever I'm on a diet or not it's kinda funny.

#14 segpriv

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Posted 06 September 2021 - 11:12 PM

I have 0 sex drive whatsoever, the combination of ed+trauma+being on the ace spectrum has made me have 0 interest. 


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#15 aloof!

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Posted 06 September 2021 - 11:44 PM

I have 0 sex drive whatsoever, the combination of ed+trauma+being on the ace spectrum has made me have 0 interest. 

wild, i have all the same shit (ed+csa/cocsa/sa+demisexual) and im not totally disguisted by sex. guess everyones different


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#16 segpriv

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Posted 06 September 2021 - 11:47 PM

wild, i have all the same shit (ed+csa/cocsa/sa+demisexual) and im not totally disguisted by sex. guess everyones different

yeah, mine is ed+csa+sa+demi/greyace/dv (domestic violence w coercion). i've always been fairly sex-neutral or sex-repulsed but recent events have made it far worse and dropped my libido to 0 lol


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"Being thin is crucial to your attractiveness and has a profound impact on how others perceive and treat you, even if you don't realize it."

 

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#17 LittleHeartOfHorrors

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Posted 07 September 2021 - 02:38 AM

I am hyper sexual when at a normal weight and have a normal sexual drive when at a low weight.

I am inductee about my ribs because I know they’re not ‘normal’ but in general I just think if they’re lucky enough to be in bed with me they have no right to judge. Haha

I’m all seriousness anyone who said anything mean in that moment would be a trash human and their opinion would therefore not matter anyway

#18 km2002

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Posted 07 September 2021 - 11:06 AM

what an awful thing to say to someone with an ed


agreed 👩🏻‍🦯
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#19 elapserelapse

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Posted 07 September 2021 - 12:03 PM

I love it because it burns calories and gives me dopamine, but yes def getting too aware of my body during, but also love how I feel small when someone bigger than me grabs around my waist :')))


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#20 PaperThinGangster

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Posted 07 September 2021 - 12:37 PM

All the time!! Each relationship it has gotten progressively worse, too.

In fact, I avoid being intimate all together because it's gotten so bad. If anyone has found a way around this, I wanna know what you do so I can solve this.


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