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Anyone over 35?


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#41 dissolve

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Posted 16 September 2021 - 08:27 AM

My kids are both under 10. I’m 41 and started my family a bit late. I know they are worried but they don’t technically know. I have numerous health conditions already. I want to watch them grow up so I know I need to get my shit together. I get SO ANGRY at myself that I can’t just flip the switch and turn it off and start eating again. Being “normal”. Then that anger turns to more restricting and punishing my body because I blame it for failing.


That's really hard. Thank you for sharing. It's so easy to blame ourselves for not being able to just "snap out of it". I relate so much to the restricting harder and punishing yourself, too.

I was young when we started our family. Intentionally so, and there were definitely benefits to that. My husband died some years ago now (the kids were 13, 16, and a few days shy of 18). The oldest has three girls of her own now, who I adore, and I don't want them to worry either. But like you, I can't just flip the switch. I feel like such a hypocrite when the oldest is upset because some mean kid at school says she's fat, and I tell her she's healthy and strong and beautiful on the inside as well as the outside. I believe every word I say to her. But I'm completely incapable of applying that to myself.

#42 Duplo

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Posted 16 September 2021 - 08:52 AM

2 kids 1 bonus child (my stepkiddo). I can’t work right now. I’m not medically able to due to C-PTSD and my ED. That also angers me because I’ve worked for so long and this is literally taking everything away.

 

Mental health > career.

 

Being unemployed might not last forever.


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Age: 39 years (old AF)
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#43 ravens_wing

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Posted 16 September 2021 - 10:59 AM

Almost 33, married and I have a child, it's definitely hard to meet people that understand and can relate nowadays!


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#44 BigReader

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Posted 16 September 2021 - 11:54 AM

Yeah I’m late thirties too if you want to chat anyone x

#45 Satori666

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Posted 16 September 2021 - 12:08 PM

37 🙋🏻‍♀️

#46 LowKeyMonkey

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Posted 16 September 2021 - 12:30 PM

That's really hard. Thank you for sharing. It's so easy to blame ourselves for not being able to just "snap out of it". I relate so much to the restricting harder and punishing yourself, too.

I was young when we started our family. Intentionally so, and there were definitely benefits to that. My husband died some years ago now (the kids were 13, 16, and a few days shy of 18). The oldest has three girls of her own now, who I adore, and I don't want them to worry either. But like you, I can't just flip the switch. I feel like such a hypocrite when the oldest is upset because some mean kid at school says she's fat, and I tell her she's healthy and strong and beautiful on the inside as well as the outside. I believe every word I say to her. But I'm completely incapable of applying that to myself.


I’m sorry for your loss. I lost my dad just after my 15th birthday and I always worry my husband doesn’t take care of himself enough. Also hypocritical of me. And then I sit at the table with no plate in front of me and lecture my children on the importance of eating a well balanced meal and I know in my head how stupid I sound considering I’m literally not doing that.
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#47 LowKeyMonkey

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Posted 16 September 2021 - 12:33 PM

I’m really glad I asked this question. And I’m truly thankful for every one of you that took the time to reply. Sometimes admitting our ages feels a bit overwhelming because we feel we shouldn’t be dealing with an ED. But here we all are. This is real, this is a struggle. I’m sad but also glad to hear from all of you. Sad because you’re also struggling.
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#48 thin_skinny_perfect

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Posted 16 September 2021 - 12:38 PM

I'm not over 35, but I am a married adult. And man when my ED started I 100% thought that it was impossible to have one as an adult because when I became one I just wouldn't have an ED anymore. Like I would magically heal?? I don't know, but I was definitely wrong.

 

It's much more difficult to progress and keep people from worrying when living with a partner. I have a really hard time lying and saying I ate earlier when I didn't so I just stick with I'm just not hungry, but that doesn't work for too long because worry starts immediately. 



#49 Laura1982

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Posted 16 September 2021 - 01:19 PM

Thank you so much. That’s very sweet. My story isn’t an easy one to hear so I don’t often talk about it. But it is directly connected to this current relapse. Grief is a powerful powerful thing.

Please don’t suffer alone my lovely. I’m here to help and so many other people care for you too xx



#50 LowKeyMonkey

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Posted 16 September 2021 - 08:39 PM

I'm not over 35, but I am a married adult. And man when my ED started I 100% thought that it was impossible to have one as an adult because when I became one I just wouldn't have an ED anymore. Like I would magically heal?? I don't know, but I was definitely wrong.

It's much more difficult to progress and keep people from worrying when living with a partner. I have a really hard time lying and saying I ate earlier when I didn't so I just stick with I'm just not hungry, but that doesn't work for too long because worry starts immediately.


It’s funny because I think the same way and yet when I logically sit down and think through it all, it’s a mental illness. We don’t give age frames to other mental illnesses so why does this one carry such a stigma I wonder.
My husband is worried but also oblivious. So I feel like he makes it almost too easy sometimes. It’s my kids that call me out on not eating even though they don’t know I have an ED or even what one is yet.

#51 Pantsy12345

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Posted 17 September 2021 - 01:07 AM

Im 33 and work full time in a professional job, have a partner etc

It's fucking exhausting. I feel like I'd really benefit from treatment but can't get time off work and dont want the shame.

I'm almost too tired and fuzzy to post and I'm meant to be working rn.

Sometimes i just wish it would kill me

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#52 Duplo

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Posted 17 September 2021 - 02:50 AM

I’m really glad I asked this question. And I’m truly thankful for every one of you that took the time to reply. Sometimes admitting our ages feels a bit overwhelming because we feel we shouldn’t be dealing with an ED. But here we all are. This is real, this is a struggle. I’m sad but also glad to hear from all of you. Sad because you’re also struggling.

 

I've always wondered what it is about eating disorders that make them teen-specific. For me, the drive for self-discipline and vanity has nothing to do with age. 


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Height: 5ft (short AF)
Age: 39 years (old AF)
CW: Denial (fat AF)

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#53 dissolve

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Posted 17 September 2021 - 06:52 AM

I’m sorry for your loss. I lost my dad just after my 15th birthday and I always worry my husband doesn’t take care of himself enough. Also hypocritical of me. And then I sit at the table with no plate in front of me and lecture my children on the importance of eating a well balanced meal and I know in my head how stupid I sound considering I’m literally not doing that.

Yeah exactly. That's exactly it, and not even just eating a well-balanced meal but food is meant to be fuel for your body and to feel good (as in healthy and right) to eat it. It's okay to enjoy your food! But not me. Nope. I'm not allowed. 

 

I guess that's where the "illness" and "disorder" parts really show their ugly heads. That we *know* these things, but cannot manage to take it in for ourselves.




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