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TRIGGERING SISTER THAT DOESNT WANT TO EAT


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#1 crackmoney69

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Posted 15 September 2021 - 02:05 PM

basically the title. my 12 year old sister decided that she was “too fat” at 110 lbs 5’2.
today, eating a plum apperently makes her “feel sick” and she throws a fit about OH IM NOT HUNGRY BLAH BLAH BLAH. which dont get me wrong i DO understand that sometimes your not hungry. i get it. but when youve only had ONE donut and its mid day you would expect her to eat HALF a sandwich, right? NO. throws a fit.
doesnt want breakfast or dinner and lunch is MAX 400 cal. she works out sometimes as well.
idk what to do. honestly. im loosing my fucking patients with her and it hurts to keep calm. she hates my guts because i apparently “force” her to eat GIRL YOUR 11 (turning 12) AND NEED TO DO SOMETHING CALLED GROWING 🤯🤯 FOOD 👏🏾 IS 👏🏾 NECESSARY 👏🏾 but nooooooo eating is too hard and i cant do it. FML. its so triggering because i just started track, and going to the gym more often and possibly start figure skating so upping my intake is necessary but extremely hard when i find myself staring at a girl who eats 500 cal a day then claims shes full.
not only that but i feel invalidated because in my eyes someone who doesn’t have an ed is getting so much attention (my dad might take her to the doctors which means if she gets a diagnosis of an ed hell shall unleash from ana inside me. most likely making me fast till i die) vs the girl (me) who struggled for years not even getting anything exept “oh girl ur thin you should eat more 🥺🥺” and doesn’t bat an eye if i say no.

UGH this is infuriating. SANDWICH? no APPLE? no ANYTHING? im not hungry 🥺
IT SERIOUSLY MAKES ME WISH THAT SHE DIDNT EVEN EXIST AND IK ITS MESSED UP BUT W T F.
im not allowed to see my mom because of HER. i dont have a bedroom because of HER. why is SHE even here??? I HATE PEOPLE

rant over. what should i do? not gaf or force her to eat 3 meals a day? Lord kill me please.
P.S. i typed this while i was very angry please excuse me lol.
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#2 crackmoney69

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Posted 15 September 2021 - 02:12 PM

oh yea and not to mention “omg my thighs are sooo big” (she has half the size of mine) “omg i lost weight!” (went from 123-110) FIT INTO MY PANTS THAT I WORE WHEN I WAS AT MY LW THAT I CANT FIT INTO ANYMORE BECAUSE IM A WHALE. picks at all her food, eating half or less than what im eating (which is so fucking triggering like i mentioned earlier) it makes me want to cry and i feel so invalidated for my ed. honestly.

edit: i DO want to help her but i honestly dont know how

#3 impmon

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Posted 15 September 2021 - 02:20 PM

youre both disordered. get some empathy.


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#4 Lindemann

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Posted 15 September 2021 - 02:26 PM

how. i. relate. to you. that. much

 

my sister is 14 and last summer she realized that i was doing diet and she's naturally skin in a bmi of 17. she started to ask me about the calories of the food,  every time we walked together she was asking me if she burned the food she ate. what's more scary is my mom didn't understand the seriousness of the situation and she congralated her as she thought that she was taking care of her body and nutrition

 

but now it did past. so it will past. i think she realized that you were losing weight or trying to etc. the best thing you can do is maybe not to show your eating habits in front of her. so she will come over her own phase and you won't be triggered anymore.


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#5 zombiehands

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Posted 15 September 2021 - 02:26 PM

Why would you get mad at her for being disordered? You do realize that you're both probably struggling with an ed, considering you're on this site right now and you grew up in the same family so you're both probably predisposed to developing one.
She's 12 years old for god's sake, you should seriously be more empathetic and work on that competitive jealousy. You literally know how shitty it feels to have an ED and poor body image, she's dealing with the same thing as you and you can't understand how she's hurting? Imagine if you were in her position and someone was force-feeding you and then getting mad at you for having feelings. 
I'm not saying you don't need the attention from your parents, but like you said, she's a child and she's growing. Of course they're going to take it seriously, especially if it appears to be an immediate threat to her health and she literally will not eat at all.


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#6 idkdietplan

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Posted 15 September 2021 - 02:27 PM

basically the title. my 12 year old sister decided that she was “too fat” at 110 lbs 5’2.
today, eating a plum apperently makes her “feel sick” and she throws a fit about OH IM NOT HUNGRY BLAH BLAH BLAH. which dont get me wrong i DO understand that sometimes your not hungry. i get it. but when youve only had ONE donut and its mid day you would expect her to eat HALF a sandwich, right? NO. throws a fit.
doesnt want breakfast or dinner and lunch is MAX 400 cal. she works out sometimes as well.
idk what to do. honestly. im loosing my fucking patients with her and it hurts to keep calm. she hates my guts because i apparently “force” her to eat GIRL YOUR 11 (turning 12) AND NEED TO DO SOMETHING CALLED GROWING FOOD IS NECESSARY but nooooooo eating is too hard and i cant do it. FML. its so triggering because i just started track, and going to the gym more often and possibly start figure skating so upping my intake is necessary but extremely hard when i find myself staring at a girl who eats 500 cal a day then claims shes full.
not only that but i feel invalidated because in my eyes someone who doesn’t have an ed is getting so much attention (my dad might take her to the doctors which means if she gets a diagnosis of an ed hell shall unleash from ana inside me. most likely making me fast till i die) vs the girl (me) who struggled for years not even getting anything exept “oh girl ur thin you should eat more ” and doesn’t bat an eye if i say no.

UGH this is infuriating. SANDWICH? no APPLE? no ANYTHING? im not hungry
IT SERIOUSLY MAKES ME WISH THAT SHE DIDNT EVEN EXIST AND IK ITS MESSED UP BUT W T F.
im not allowed to see my mom because of HER. i dont have a bedroom because of HER. why is SHE even here??? I HATE PEOPLE

rant over. what should i do? not gaf or force her to eat 3 meals a day? Lord kill me please.
P.S. i typed this while i was very angry please excuse me lol.

I can see why you're angry as it must trigger you so much, but it's not her fault. 


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#7 crackmoney69

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Posted 15 September 2021 - 02:28 PM

Why would you get mad at her for being disordered? You do realize that you're both probably struggling with an ed, considering you're on this site right now and you grew up in the same family so you're both probably predisposed to developing one.
She's 12 years old for god's sake, you should seriously be more empathetic and work on that competitive jealousy. You literally know how shitty it feels to have an ED and poor body image, she's dealing with the same thing as you and you can't understand how she's hurting? Imagine if you were in her position and someone was force-feeding you and then getting mad at you for having feelings.



I understand that but how do i help at least? i dont know what to do and my anger and feeling like i need to compete is probably making her and my ed worse but idk how to save her from the hell she’s getting herself into.
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#8 crackmoney69

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Posted 15 September 2021 - 02:29 PM

I can see why you're angry as it must trigger you so much, but it's not her fault.


how do i help her then? i dont even know how to help myself for Gods sake

#9 inevitablestarvation

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Posted 15 September 2021 - 02:35 PM

I understand that but how do i help at least? i dont know what to do and my anger and feeling like i need to compete is probably making her and my ed worse but idk how to save her from the hell she’s getting herself into.


She’s already in it. Unless she wants to change she won’t. Be empathetic.


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#10 zombiehands

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Posted 15 September 2021 - 02:37 PM

I understand that but how do i help at least? i dont know what to do and my anger and feeling like i need to compete is probably making her and my ed worse but idk how to save her from the hell she’s getting herself into.

Let them take her to the doctor. If she needs a diagnosis she'll get one. Why should she not be allowed to get help just because you didn't? I know it feels unfair to you but it would be unfair to her too. You probably aren't in a place to be helping her anyway, you're dealing with your own ED and your competitive nature is only going to trigger the both of you. Let a professional take care of it, she's still young so maybe she'll actually have a chance at an early recovery.


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#11 bonedgirl

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Posted 15 September 2021 - 02:39 PM

She's young, and she probably hasn't been exhibiting these behaviours that long, get her into therapy asap, that's the best you can do 


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#12 Legend27

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Posted 15 September 2021 - 02:41 PM

In my own opinion, in order to help I would say dont get involved at all. If she is being taken to the hospital and will see a professional, she will get the help she needs. I think if you try to get involved to help her, it will just trigger both of you. Ik it's not the answer you probably wanted but the best thing to do is to stay out of it if she is getting the help she needs from someone who is not biased by being in the family or having an ED also.
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#13 crackmoney69

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Posted 15 September 2021 - 02:44 PM

Thanks your right. im sorry for being such a child. im going to encourage a doctor and stay out of it. thanks for putting up with my BS
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#14 zombiehands

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Posted 15 September 2021 - 02:49 PM

Thanks your right. im sorry for being such a child. im going to encourage a doctor and stay out of it. thanks for putting up with my BS

I hope one day you'll find the support you need from your family as well. I wish you all the best, and I'm sorry that this is affecting you so much. I know you can't help how you feel either, but it's important to remain understanding, especially since you know what it's like.
Best of luck with everything, I hope it all turns out okay <3


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#15 pocket-sized

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Posted 15 September 2021 - 02:59 PM

To everyone saying "get some empathy" - eating disorders can be COMPETITIVE AF you've said it yourselves lol. It's easy to judge and say they should do/feel [xyz] , but come on... unless you're in that situation, you don't know how you'd react either.

OP, what you're feeling is valid and I hope both you and your sister can find a way through this. Wishing you the best.

 


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#16 crackmoney69

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Posted 15 September 2021 - 04:55 PM

To everyone saying "get some empathy" - eating disorders can be COMPETITIVE AF you've said it yourselves lol. It's easy to judge and say they should do/feel [xyz] , but come on... unless you're in that situation, you don't know how you'd react either.

OP, what you're feeling is valid and I hope both you and your sister can find a way through this. Wishing you the best.


thank you so much im thinking about recovery soon idk yet but thank you

#17 crackmoney69

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Posted 15 September 2021 - 04:56 PM

I hope one day you'll find the support you need from your family as well. I wish you all the best, and I'm sorry that this is affecting you so much. I know you can't help how you feel either, but it's important to remain understanding, especially since you know what it's like.
Best of luck with everything, I hope it all turns out okay <3


thank you and i will honestly. it’s frustrating when i see things like this but i need to learn how to keep my cool <3
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#18 jpi332

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Posted 15 September 2021 - 05:46 PM

youre both disordered. get some empathy.

Id honestly be triggered too. It’s hard to have empathy when you’re living through it every day. You see it as normal, and get competitive. Saying “just be empathetic” is not all that helpful, just saying.


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#19 jpi332

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Posted 15 September 2021 - 05:48 PM

She’s already in it. Unless she wants to change she won’t. Be empathetic.


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Not necessarily. It could be a thing she could still grow out of, if it’s not a full blown Ed. So hopefully that can be helped with and she can be encouraged to take healthier habits.

To op I’d say the best thing is to leave it alone though. Try to not think about it, so that you aren’t in comparison.


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#20 impmon

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Posted 15 September 2021 - 05:53 PM

Id honestly be triggered too. It’s hard to have empathy when you’re living through it every day. You see it as normal, and get competitive. Saying “just be empathetic” is not all that helpful, just saying.


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I'm 100% more concerned with a mentally ill 11 year old being exposed to blatant toxicity lmfao but I do get that its triggering to be exposed to it in someone's daily life but I stand by please be empathetic and conscious of in this case a literal 11 year old.
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