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Hating yourself after recovery


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#1 Skinnyminnie1984isback

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Posted 15 September 2021 - 02:23 PM

I was 106lbs. I was small. I’ve gained a fk tonne and now I have genuine hate for myself.

It was the worst thing I have ever done. I don’t know how to get past this other than get back there. But I have a good 70lbs to lose. I know. It’s a lot. I hate myself. HATE. I just want this weight gone.

I will do anything. Regardless of the consequences. I don’t feel worried about them really. I don’t have any care about my body right now - even having a bath is hard because I have to face my body.

I feel so stupid being this way. But I wish I hadn’t ever started to eat again. I’m sorry if this is triggering to anyone it’s not meant to be. I’m just so disgusted in myself. I can’t deal anymore. I’d rather kill myself than stay this size
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5’7
Relapse sw 182
Cw 171
Lw 106
Gw 106
Ugw 98

#2 Dying2b3Th!n

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Posted 15 September 2021 - 03:04 PM

Umm ... losing 70 pounds will put you at 36 pounds and before you get there ypur body will give out and youll die.
Hw-165lbs lw-80lbs cw-144.2 lbs gw-105lbs when I was 17 years old hw- was 210 but I was just giving info on hw for this time around.
Thinness equals success, never give up, never give in!

#3 Skinnyminnie1984isback

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Posted 15 September 2021 - 03:05 PM

Umm ... losing 70 pounds will put you at 36 pounds and before you get there ypur body will give out and youll die.


No. I’m currently 173
5’7
Relapse sw 182
Cw 171
Lw 106
Gw 106
Ugw 98

#4 laetitiabb

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Posted 15 September 2021 - 03:06 PM

I was 106lbs. I was small. I’ve gained a fk tonne and now I have genuine hate for myself.

It was the worst thing I have ever done. I don’t know how to get past this other than get back there. But I have a good 70lbs to lose. I know. It’s a lot. I hate myself. HATE. I just want this weight gone.

I will do anything. Regardless of the consequences. I don’t feel worried about them really. I don’t have any care about my body right now - even having a bath is hard because I have to face my body.

I feel so stupid being this way. But I wish I hadn’t ever started to eat again. I’m sorry if this is triggering to anyone it’s not meant to be. I’m just so disgusted in myself. I can’t deal anymore. I’d rather kill myself than stay this size


Hard relate
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Height 160 - 5'3

HW: 57kg - LW: 43.5kg

CW: who knows


#5 Dying2b3Th!n

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Posted 15 September 2021 - 03:09 PM

No. I’m currently 173


Oh i thought you were still 106 you had me scared for you.
Hw-165lbs lw-80lbs cw-144.2 lbs gw-105lbs when I was 17 years old hw- was 210 but I was just giving info on hw for this time around.
Thinness equals success, never give up, never give in!

#6 Skinnyminnie1984isback

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Posted 15 September 2021 - 03:14 PM

Oh i thought you were still 106 you had me scared for you.


I wish I was
  • Dying2b3Th!n likes this
5’7
Relapse sw 182
Cw 171
Lw 106
Gw 106
Ugw 98

#7 OofBoi

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Posted 15 September 2021 - 03:21 PM

Hating yourself after "recovery" means that you are not recovered, they just restored your weight. While weight restoration may be a part of recovery it certainly isn't the end-all be-all. That's exactly what happens when shitty doctors just want to do the bare minimum. They just look at your chart, see your weight prior recovery, order weight restoration and now your chart may look "better". But that sort of thinking doesn't take into account what you feel so imo it was pretty pointless of them to have restored your weight without making any effort to restore your confidence. 

 

It's natural. I have been there, at the place where the only thing healthy about you is your weight. This thread is painfully relatable and you're not alone. All weight restoration has done for me is to make me relapse harder than before. 


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