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Latest trigger for your relapse?

trigger relapse

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118 replies to this topic

#21 Melancholic Doll

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Posted 07 October 2021 - 03:12 AM

Saw all of my friends from the town I lived in before moving out for university, and all of 'em are at a new LW. One of them is BMI 17, one is 19 and one is 18.3. Meanwhile I'm the fucking fat whale weighing like, 10 kg more than all of them lol. And they had the audacity of telling me I'm "thicc" and "sexy" whilst talking about dieting and "uwu forgetting how to eat".

Oh well, guess who's fasting again today


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My current Accountability

Height: 5'5"/165 cm

Progress pics are on my ED instagram (heya.its.rayne)

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#22 ARFIDana

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Posted 07 October 2021 - 10:23 AM

My boyfriend suggested we both eat healthier and lose weight (he's overweight, I'm obese). His intentions are good, he just cares about our health, but it sent me into major anxiety.

It's a different beast this time around though, because I'm about twice the weight I was last time (back in 2012/2013).
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#23 blushingkitty

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Posted 07 October 2021 - 11:04 AM

There's someone I work with and she's the total package. She's smart, beautiful with a lovely personality. She's always complimented for her looks and she has someone rather handsome persuing her. I can't help but be so envious towards her for all these reasons I won't waste time explaining and it sucks especially since she's the absolute sweetest.

I wish I were as good-looking as her, seeing that she doesn't seem to have issues finding dates. Though I like to play it off, I wish I were in a relationship right now, or even just noticed by someone as handsome as the guy wanting to date her. My co-worker is super triggering for that reason, especially since she has the body type I wish I had. It's not fair that some people just get everything sometimes. I don't want to be the ugly one anymore :(

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JWTQLXq.gif

 

 


---

 
5'3'' / CW: 126 lbs  / HW: 162 lbs / GW: 110 lbs / UGW: 100 lbs
 
GW 1: 130 lbs
GW 2: 118 lbs 
GW 3: 109 lbs 
GW 4: 100 lbs 
 
160's
169 168 167 166 165
164 163 162 161 160
 
150's
159 158 157 156 155
154 153 152 151 150
 
140's 
149 148 147 146 145 
144 143 142 141 140
 
130's 
139 138 137 136 135 
134 133 132 131 130
 
120's 
129 128 127 126 125 
124 123 122 121 120
 
110's 
119 118 117 116 115 
114 113 112 111 110
 
100's 
109 108 107 106 105 
104 103 102 101 100 
 
 
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accountability thread
blog


#24 mourir de faim

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Posted 07 October 2021 - 11:07 AM

it was kinda looming for a while. my bf is thinner than me, a couple of my coworkers shared their ED struggles with me (one saying she’s relapsing), and the fall & winter seasons are always triggers for me. what sent me over the edge was another death in my life. 10th one from 2019-now and every time it just amps up the need for control
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feel free to message me if you wanna talk on discord or instagram, doesn't have to be ED related!

i also love kpop, poetry, art, astrology, and tarot to name a few!

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#25 canofcornandgreekyogurt

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Posted 07 October 2021 - 11:07 AM

had 2 weeks of "recovery" , gained, hate myself, back to restricting despite recommendations to eat more during uni. also in a kdrama phase, and everyone is so damn skinny


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#26 NotLeaveAFootprint

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Posted 07 October 2021 - 11:09 AM

Lost weight due to illness then started freaking out when I put a bit of it back on
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#27 Crimson_Ivy

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Posted 07 October 2021 - 12:01 PM

Did too much mdma, lost my appetite, started loosing weight unintentionally, started using more to kill my appetite more, now I'm here  


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5'7/172cm

Current: 118lbs

BMI: 18.5

Next Goal: 112lbs

End Goal: 90lbs

Accountability: https://www.myproana...805-on-ecstasy/


#28 Thinchance

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Posted 07 October 2021 - 12:24 PM

Skinny mannequins at work.
Kinda pushes aside the fact size 00 exists
Now I’m obsessed
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#29 Phoenixxl

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Posted 07 October 2021 - 12:36 PM

My mom died. When I step eating and lose the weight, my pain is visible and acknowledged.

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#30 MaggieG

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Posted 07 October 2021 - 03:02 PM

Thanks to everyone who answered so far.

Reading some of these replies makes me really sad.

Send you all hugs, you are all lovely people who deserve better life circumstances.

And you are wonderful irregardless of the number on the scale.


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#31 aalegra

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Posted 08 October 2021 - 02:17 AM

injured ankle preventing me from running, stress of moving, and a friend of mine relapsing w drugs which all happened within 1-2 weeks of each other
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#32 CloudyDays201

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Posted 08 October 2021 - 07:37 AM

1) Coming back to in-person uni where nobody but me seems to require food

2) Doctor writing 'overweight' on my chart (that's hard for me to admit here - I am three pounds over the BMI limit for my height and I hate it)

3) Weighing myself and seeing that I am EXACTLY the same weight I was three months ago (65.1kg/143.5lb). Was hoping that school stress would have carved out a bit of weight. 


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#33 BunnyHoney

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Posted 08 October 2021 - 07:41 AM

The thought of summer (southern hemisphere), and another lockdown. The ability to both binge, restrict and starve. 


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✧・゚: *✧・゚:*    *:・゚✧*:・゚✧

Height: 165cm

GW: 60 kg

My Accountability

✧・゚: *✧・゚:*    *:・゚✧*:・゚✧


#34 Erinus

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Posted 08 October 2021 - 07:47 AM

my husband's secret porn addiction 🤪
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5'6" | SW: 174 | CW: 151 | LW: 126 | UGW: 115

#35 pastelpigeons

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Posted 09 October 2021 - 11:25 AM

domestic violence, depression, PTSD and a new diagnosis to top it. Stress and anxiety were getting impossible to deal with. At my highest weight ever but losing 20 lbs healthily and already struggling immensely with that mentally.. when my mother (who is VERY aware of my history with anorexia and had to admit me into the hospital many times as a minor due to it) told me I would look lovely if I lost just 20 more lbs. afterwards it turned into a full blown relapse leading to a 28 lb loss in September alone.
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#36 imaskinnybitchyall

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Posted 09 October 2021 - 11:27 AM

In general college

Specifically to today. A song.
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#37 strugglingsoprano

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Posted 09 October 2021 - 12:37 PM

Everyone here has such heartbreaking stories. I told my story of how I got here in my introduction post, but now that I'm really thinking about it, I can't pinpoint any one thing that triggered my most recent relapse. I think it was too many things piling up over time. I guess I'm just weak to my mental illness. 


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"Pleasures are for worldly people"

 

#38 Katie1597_

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Posted 09 October 2021 - 01:10 PM

Restarting antidepressants almost 2 weeks ago. A few days later I threw up my snack because I felt so unwell with side effects. Stopped taking them but I still don’t have my appetite back. It’s been 5-6 days and I’m almost back to my lowest weight sooo back to my old ways so fast it’s not even funny


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#39 imaskinnybitchyall

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Posted 09 October 2021 - 01:11 PM

Everyone here has such heartbreaking stories. I told my story of how I got here in my introduction post, but now that I'm really thinking about it, I can't pinpoint any one thing that triggered my most recent relapse. I think it was too many things piling up over time. I guess I'm just weak to my mental illness.

you're not weak. ❤️

I've gone through tons of phases with my ED. I used to just start restricting again subconsciously, used to just "decide" to relapse. You don't need a reason for your relapse.

I made a joke by saying a song caused it today. but in general: life just sucks, and I have seasonal depression. It gets the slightest bit cold and I relapse without thinking about a thing.
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#40 daisydth

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Posted 09 October 2021 - 02:44 PM

Stress in general.. I feel like I was better but I relapsed because I just can’t loose control for too long. I just can’t.. also I want to study abroad and If it not gonna happen I’m gonna get even sicker I know that..
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