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Desperate, need serious help

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#1 LenaTheFatPig

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Posted 12 October 2021 - 10:41 AM

TW: 18+ content

 

Hi everyone.

 

This is my current situation. I am obese and I absolutely cannot continue living like this. This is my last chance to lose as much weight as I can as quickly as I can or I will simply give up on myself and just let myself eat howevermuch I want untill my death.

 

Please do not tell me about getting help, going to the doctors, loving myself as I am right now or anything similar. I know it all and I have heard it all a milion times. That is not the kind of help I need right now.

 

I currently weigh 156kg (344 lbs) and I am 171 cm (5'7) tall.

 

I need to drop under 100 kg as soon as possible and I want to see my weight start witg a 9 instead of a 1 on the 31st of December this year. 

 

What I need from anyone who is wiling to help me to give me as much good advice on how to accomplish my goal as they can. The only form of exercise I am currently able to do because of my weight is walking and some very light at home cardio. Pretty much even climbing the stairs gets my heart pumping like crazy.

 

I know it will be very difficult if not nearly impossible but I simply need to try and I will do my best. 

 

I have no life because of my weight. I have no confidence, I avoid any and every human contact I possibly can, I cannot stand people touching me, or looking at me. I am 23 years old and I have never had someone love me because I always push people away and I have not been able to have sex for years. I cannot even let myself orgasm because I despize my body so much. I need this. I need help.

 

Please help me in any way you can.


  • AnarchyKisses likes this

BED with periods of long fasting

 

Stats:

 

HW: 157,8kg / 348 lbs

CW: 149kg / 328 lbs

CW: 144kg / 317 lbs

CW: 140kg / 308 lbs

CW: 136kg / 300 lbs

CW: 143,6kg / 316,5 lbs 

CW: 156kg / 344 lbs

 

UGW: 49kg / 108lbs

 

please don't hate me because I'm fat okay I'm sorry

 

Current diet:

 

???


#2 AnarchyKisses

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Posted 12 October 2021 - 10:52 AM

I really recommend watching youtube videos by Kiana Dochery.

I'd suggest logging your weight + height + age into a tdee calculator, and eat at a slight deficit for the time being. It's tempting to eat way less, but if you're prone to overeating it's just a recipe for a binge/restrict cycle + more lbs gained.

I think it's very important to not look at binges or overeating as failures, and instead look back on it and write down why and what triggered you to eat more than you should. It's a slow process but in the long run it will cause you to lose more weight than to start restricting heavily only to overeat even more.

Few little bits of advice:

-Stay away from foods you know will trigger you into overeating. It's blunt, but I used to do it too and I COULD NOT control myself around food I knew I would overeat on.
-For people that overeat, healthy high fat foods are not recommended. It's so easy to rack up the calories and use the excuse of ''well, it's healthy''. I'd suggest waiting until you have more control.
-TRACK ALL YOUR FOOD, EVEN IF YOU BINGE. YOU CAN LOOK BACK ON IT AND SEE WHAT YOU DID WRONG AND WORK ON IT.
-High protein in the mornings. Volume eat low calorie foods to bulk up your plate. Protein + carb + mostly veggies tend to make you feel more satiated.
-Remember that you will crave foods and will want to overeat, that's normal especially if you have previously had a high fat diet. I suggest looking at cravings vs what you need charts for this.


  • LenaTheFatPig, SecretlyLosing, skellyjelly and 1 other like this

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#3 BakedBarbie

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Posted 12 October 2021 - 04:15 PM

So pointed out how you hate human interaction does mean you did your own grocery shopping or does someone else? Because what is brought back to your home will have a very high impact on how much you eat. There’s the misconception that getting to a lower BMI means you have the “willpower” but tbh I really don’t I just don’t keep food in my appartment lol.
  • coffeesamurai likes this

#4 Neglected_omega

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Posted 12 October 2021 - 04:57 PM

The only sane thing to do is fast. Keep the bare minimum of staple foods in your home for when you do eat. When you lose enough, start an exercise routine that you can keep up with.


  • LenaTheFatPig likes this

~Big Sip Of Regret~
 


#5 Tartaglia

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Posted 12 October 2021 - 05:15 PM

I’m sorry I get it that you want to lose weight but don’t do it like this. This isn’t a diet. This is an illness.

I’m gonna literally ignore everything you said from the what you don’t want to hear part but, literally just go to a dietician. They will teach you a lot on healthy eating and losing weight in a healthy NON-DISORDERED way. You do not want to do this.
  • SecretlyLosing likes this

#6 SageLeaf

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Posted 12 October 2021 - 05:55 PM

Just some encouragement, I used to weigh 335lbs and I've managed to get down to 168.5lbs so far, you can do this too!  

 

One good thing is that it's much easier to drop pounds at higher weights and at first the weight should come off pretty fast.

 

Exercise isn't necessary to lose weight, of course it helps, but it's mostly about diet.  I did light walking at first only.  Even these days I only walk because of other health issues.  When you exercise don't eat back the calories you burned.

 

Start by calculating your TDEE, figure out how many calories you need to maintain, then decide how many calories you are going to eat every day to create a deficit.  Bigger deficit = bigger weight loss.  Pick something reasonable so that you can sustain the diet.  The worst is going to great lengths to stick to an impossibly low amount only to end up undoing it all because it just isn't sustainable over time.  Track your calories in everything, once you hit your decided upon limit for the day, stop.  That part is hard.  

 

If you're prone to binges, keep foods that you binge on out of the house.

 

You're going to feel hungry because your body is used to getting more food, be prepared for it.  Find other things to do instead of eating, try to replace the behaviour with something else like playing video games, sleeping, reading, etc.  

 

There may be some behaviours that trigger eating, like watching TV, if this is the case you might want to avoid the things that trigger you for a while.

 

Drink a lot of water, in fact, drink water when you feel like eating especially haha.  Tea and coffee are good too for controlling appetite to some degree (especially coffee).

 

You can do this!


  • LenaTheFatPig likes this

CW: 158 lbs
GW 1: 199 lbs
GW 2: 179 lbs
GW 3: 149 lbs
GW 4: 135 lbs
GW 5: 111lbs
UGW: 85 lbs


#7 SecretlyLosing

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Posted 12 October 2021 - 06:12 PM

wrote you a pm. 


  • LenaTheFatPig likes this
𝖞𝖔𝖚 𝖆𝖗𝖊 𝖈𝖆𝖘𝖙 𝖔𝖚𝖙 𝖋𝖗𝖔𝖒
𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖍𝖊𝖆𝖛𝖊𝖓𝖘 𝖙𝖔 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖌𝖗𝖔𝖚𝖓𝖉
𝖇𝖑𝖆𝖈𝖐𝖊𝖓𝖊𝖉 𝖋𝖊𝖆𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖗𝖘 𝖋𝖆𝖑𝖑𝖎𝖓𝖌 𝖉𝖔𝖜𝖓
𝖞𝖔𝖚 𝖜𝖎𝖑𝖑 𝖜𝖊𝖆𝖗 𝖞𝖔𝖚𝖗
𝖎𝖓𝖉𝖊𝖕𝖊𝖓𝖉𝖊𝖓𝖈𝖊 𝖑𝖎𝖐𝖊 𝖆 𝖈𝖗𝖔𝖜𝖓 
•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
 

• 99 • 98 • 97 • 96 • 95 • 94 • 93 • 92 • 91 • 90 • 

• 89 • 88 • 87 • 86 • 85 • 84 • 83 • 82 • 81 • 80 •

• 79 • 78 • 77 • 76 • 75 • 74 • 73 • 72 • 71 • 70 • 

• 69 • 68 • 67 • 66 • 65 • 64 • 63 • 62 • 61 • 60 • 

• 59 • 58 • 

 


#8 LenaTheFatPig

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Posted 13 October 2021 - 04:22 AM

I really recommend watching youtube videos by Kiana Dochery.

I'd suggest logging your weight + height + age into a tdee calculator, and eat at a slight deficit for the time being. It's tempting to eat way less, but if you're prone to overeating it's just a recipe for a binge/restrict cycle + more lbs gained.

I think it's very important to not look at binges or overeating as failures, and instead look back on it and write down why and what triggered you to eat more than you should. It's a slow process but in the long run it will cause you to lose more weight than to start restricting heavily only to overeat even more.

Few little bits of advice:

-Stay away from foods you know will trigger you into overeating. It's blunt, but I used to do it too and I COULD NOT control myself around food I knew I would overeat on.
-For people that overeat, healthy high fat foods are not recommended. It's so easy to rack up the calories and use the excuse of ''well, it's healthy''. I'd suggest waiting until you have more control.
-TRACK ALL YOUR FOOD, EVEN IF YOU BINGE. YOU CAN LOOK BACK ON IT AND SEE WHAT YOU DID WRONG AND WORK ON IT.
-High protein in the mornings. Volume eat low calorie foods to bulk up your plate. Protein + carb + mostly veggies tend to make you feel more satiated.
-Remember that you will crave foods and will want to overeat, that's normal especially if you have previously had a high fat diet. I suggest looking at cravings vs what you need charts for this.

 

Thank you very much for all the advice. i checked out the youtube channel you recommended and I believe it could really help me. I must say I used to track my food, but I somehow just forgot about and thank you for reminding me! I will deffinitely get back into it. You said I should eat lots of protein in the morning. Do you do this? If yes then what kind of protein? Do you mean like chicken breast with veggies of more like a protein shake? 


  • AnarchyKisses likes this

BED with periods of long fasting

 

Stats:

 

HW: 157,8kg / 348 lbs

CW: 149kg / 328 lbs

CW: 144kg / 317 lbs

CW: 140kg / 308 lbs

CW: 136kg / 300 lbs

CW: 143,6kg / 316,5 lbs 

CW: 156kg / 344 lbs

 

UGW: 49kg / 108lbs

 

please don't hate me because I'm fat okay I'm sorry

 

Current diet:

 

???


#9 LenaTheFatPig

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Posted 13 October 2021 - 04:26 AM

So pointed out how you hate human interaction does mean you did your own grocery shopping or does someone else? Because what is brought back to your home will have a very high impact on how much you eat. There’s the misconception that getting to a lower BMI means you have the “willpower” but tbh I really don’t I just don’t keep food in my appartment lol.

 

Well I would say that I am high functioning. I live pretty much more or less a normal life I just have social anxiety and I lost all my friends because I never wanted to hang out.

I also live with my family and I do the family grocerie shopping when it is my turn, so that means I can't buy just food for me. But we mostly eat alone and rarely together. 


  • BakedBarbie likes this

BED with periods of long fasting

 

Stats:

 

HW: 157,8kg / 348 lbs

CW: 149kg / 328 lbs

CW: 144kg / 317 lbs

CW: 140kg / 308 lbs

CW: 136kg / 300 lbs

CW: 143,6kg / 316,5 lbs 

CW: 156kg / 344 lbs

 

UGW: 49kg / 108lbs

 

please don't hate me because I'm fat okay I'm sorry

 

Current diet:

 

???


#10 LenaTheFatPig

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Posted 13 October 2021 - 04:28 AM

The only sane thing to do is fast. Keep the bare minimum of staple foods in your home for when you do eat. When you lose enough, start an exercise routine that you can keep up with.

 

I thought about that too. I was thinking about starting with alternate day water fasting and then move on to more and more consecutive water fasting days. Last time I jumped into a 10 day water fast I ended up gaining all the weight back so I hope this way I will be more successful.


  • Neglected_omega likes this

BED with periods of long fasting

 

Stats:

 

HW: 157,8kg / 348 lbs

CW: 149kg / 328 lbs

CW: 144kg / 317 lbs

CW: 140kg / 308 lbs

CW: 136kg / 300 lbs

CW: 143,6kg / 316,5 lbs 

CW: 156kg / 344 lbs

 

UGW: 49kg / 108lbs

 

please don't hate me because I'm fat okay I'm sorry

 

Current diet:

 

???


#11 LenaTheFatPig

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Posted 13 October 2021 - 04:30 AM

I’m sorry I get it that you want to lose weight but don’t do it like this. This isn’t a diet. This is an illness.

I’m gonna literally ignore everything you said from the what you don’t want to hear part but, literally just go to a dietician. They will teach you a lot on healthy eating and losing weight in a healthy NON-DISORDERED way. You do not want to do this.

 

Thank you for your concern and I do understand where you are comming from, but that is simply not what I want or need right now. But later when I lose a good chunk of my weight, yes.


BED with periods of long fasting

 

Stats:

 

HW: 157,8kg / 348 lbs

CW: 149kg / 328 lbs

CW: 144kg / 317 lbs

CW: 140kg / 308 lbs

CW: 136kg / 300 lbs

CW: 143,6kg / 316,5 lbs 

CW: 156kg / 344 lbs

 

UGW: 49kg / 108lbs

 

please don't hate me because I'm fat okay I'm sorry

 

Current diet:

 

???


#12 LenaTheFatPig

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Posted 13 October 2021 - 04:32 AM

Just some encouragement, I used to weigh 335lbs and I've managed to get down to 168.5lbs so far, you can do this too!  

 

One good thing is that it's much easier to drop pounds at higher weights and at first the weight should come off pretty fast.

 

Exercise isn't necessary to lose weight, of course it helps, but it's mostly about diet.  I did light walking at first only.  Even these days I only walk because of other health issues.  When you exercise don't eat back the calories you burned.

 

Start by calculating your TDEE, figure out how many calories you need to maintain, then decide how many calories you are going to eat every day to create a deficit.  Bigger deficit = bigger weight loss.  Pick something reasonable so that you can sustain the diet.  The worst is going to great lengths to stick to an impossibly low amount only to end up undoing it all because it just isn't sustainable over time.  Track your calories in everything, once you hit your decided upon limit for the day, stop.  That part is hard.  

 

If you're prone to binges, keep foods that you binge on out of the house.

 

You're going to feel hungry because your body is used to getting more food, be prepared for it.  Find other things to do instead of eating, try to replace the behaviour with something else like playing video games, sleeping, reading, etc.  

 

There may be some behaviours that trigger eating, like watching TV, if this is the case you might want to avoid the things that trigger you for a while.

 

Drink a lot of water, in fact, drink water when you feel like eating especially haha.  Tea and coffee are good too for controlling appetite to some degree (especially coffee).

 

You can do this!

 

Congrats on your progress! May I please ask, are you happier now?

 

Thank you so much for all the advice, it all sounds really good and I really appreciate it. 


BED with periods of long fasting

 

Stats:

 

HW: 157,8kg / 348 lbs

CW: 149kg / 328 lbs

CW: 144kg / 317 lbs

CW: 140kg / 308 lbs

CW: 136kg / 300 lbs

CW: 143,6kg / 316,5 lbs 

CW: 156kg / 344 lbs

 

UGW: 49kg / 108lbs

 

please don't hate me because I'm fat okay I'm sorry

 

Current diet:

 

???


#13 NLP

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Posted 13 October 2021 - 05:05 AM

Just a little comment on exercise,,,,,

You say you can Walk.     How about a gentle aim to walk twice or even three times a day.  Start off low and slow, build up gradually.  Try to see it as a nice thing to do for yourself and not a chore.  Walk tall, breathe well, smile.  

 

Sincere best wishes, you deserve to win  : )


  • LenaTheFatPig likes this

Functioning dysfunctionally

 

     


 


#14 AnarchyKisses

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Posted 13 October 2021 - 05:50 AM

Thank you very much for all the advice. i checked out the youtube channel you recommended and I believe it could really help me. I must say I used to track my food, but I somehow just forgot about and thank you for reminding me! I will deffinitely get back into it. You said I should eat lots of protein in the morning. Do you do this? If yes then what kind of protein? Do you mean like chicken breast with veggies of more like a protein shake? 

I eat most of my protein intake in the mornings, I'm pescatarian so I mostly eat fish like salmon or tuna but chicken breast and things like that should be perfect. A protein shake I don't think will keep you satiated for very long.

I recommend a meat (protein), any veggies you want (fibre, nutrients, etc), and a carb (slice of bread, potato, etc) for breakfast. Eating breakfasts like that actually helped me so much when it came to my binge eating.


  • LenaTheFatPig likes this

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#15 Waltersmother

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Posted 13 October 2021 - 05:59 AM

Hello lovely, your CW is very similar to my HW and I'm down almost 20kg since then. Firstly I'm sorry that you're having such a hard time because of your weight, I know it's not always easy being bigger.
I'm not sure on your ED history but I'll assume you're suffering with some element of binge eating disorder currently. The beat way to start for me was to find other habits to get into to replace the binge eating so I'd always have a big mug of tea or coffee if I feel like a binge and find something to do (I've got kids so usually its cleaning something), identity what your triggers are and if your worse at any time of day so you can make a plan.
In regards to exercise when you're our size walking is enough, anything else could be bad on your joints. If you have access to a pool and are able then swimming is good too because there is no pressure on joints and it burns a ton on calories.
The main thing to focus on is how many calories you eat, eat foods that have a low calorie density then you can eat a reasonable amount and stay satisfied.

#16 SageLeaf

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Posted 13 October 2021 - 11:28 AM

Congrats on your progress! May I please ask, are you happier now?

Thank you so much for all the advice, it all sounds really good and I really appreciate it.


Well, yes and no. I’m not nearly as happy as I thought I would be, it didn’t cure my depression or anxiety or most other issues I have in life. I don’t know if I ever thought it would but I had hope that if I was thinner I would magically feel better and not have so many mental health issues and unfortunately that just wasn’t the case at all.

I also have some health issues right now, some of which were brought on by extreme dieting so that sucks too, especially because I have bad health anxiety.

I love how I look compared to before but I don’t love how I look. I still want to go so much lower.

I am more confident and have less anxiety about things like seat belts fitting or weight limits, etc. all of that is a thing of the past. I’m more comfortable. Moving around, going upstairs, getting up off the floor is easier.

There are definitely benefits and I feel good/happier about those things, but overall my depression/anxiety has not improved other than for things that were directly related to my weight.
  • LenaTheFatPig likes this

CW: 158 lbs
GW 1: 199 lbs
GW 2: 179 lbs
GW 3: 149 lbs
GW 4: 135 lbs
GW 5: 111lbs
UGW: 85 lbs


#17 LenaTheFatPig

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Posted 14 October 2021 - 04:41 AM

Just a little comment on exercise,,,,,

You say you can Walk.     How about a gentle aim to walk twice or even three times a day.  Start off low and slow, build up gradually.  Try to see it as a nice thing to do for yourself and not a chore.  Walk tall, breathe well, smile.  

 

Sincere best wishes, you deserve to win  : )

 

I thought about that too! I already go an walks two times a day because I have a dog, but I must admitt that they were rather short, never longer than 30 minutes. But I will for sure have to make them much longer


  • NLP likes this

BED with periods of long fasting

 

Stats:

 

HW: 157,8kg / 348 lbs

CW: 149kg / 328 lbs

CW: 144kg / 317 lbs

CW: 140kg / 308 lbs

CW: 136kg / 300 lbs

CW: 143,6kg / 316,5 lbs 

CW: 156kg / 344 lbs

 

UGW: 49kg / 108lbs

 

please don't hate me because I'm fat okay I'm sorry

 

Current diet:

 

???


#18 LenaTheFatPig

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Posted 14 October 2021 - 04:45 AM

Well, yes and no. I’m not nearly as happy as I thought I would be, it didn’t cure my depression or anxiety or most other issues I have in life. I don’t know if I ever thought it would but I had hope that if I was thinner I would magically feel better and not have so many mental health issues and unfortunately that just wasn’t the case at all.

I also have some health issues right now, some of which were brought on by extreme dieting so that sucks too, especially because I have bad health anxiety.

I love how I look compared to before but I don’t love how I look. I still want to go so much lower.

I am more confident and have less anxiety about things like seat belts fitting or weight limits, etc. all of that is a thing of the past. I’m more comfortable. Moving around, going upstairs, getting up off the floor is easier.

There are definitely benefits and I feel good/happier about those things, but overall my depression/anxiety has not improved other than for things that were directly related to my weight.

 

I am so sorry your life has not improved as much as you hoped for. But at least some aspects are improved. May I please know what health issues you are experiencing because of weight loss? Only if you are comfortable, if not that is perfectly fine! 


  • SageLeaf likes this

BED with periods of long fasting

 

Stats:

 

HW: 157,8kg / 348 lbs

CW: 149kg / 328 lbs

CW: 144kg / 317 lbs

CW: 140kg / 308 lbs

CW: 136kg / 300 lbs

CW: 143,6kg / 316,5 lbs 

CW: 156kg / 344 lbs

 

UGW: 49kg / 108lbs

 

please don't hate me because I'm fat okay I'm sorry

 

Current diet:

 

???


#19 SageLeaf

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Posted 14 October 2021 - 05:33 PM

I am so sorry your life has not improved as much as you hoped for. But at least some aspects are improved. May I please know what health issues you are experiencing because of weight loss? Only if you are comfortable, if not that is perfectly fine! 

 

Gallstones was one health issue, I believe I had them prior to the recent weight loss and they do run in my family BUT I think the weight loss (especially fasting) brought on the symptoms, whereas prior to that I had no idea I had them and they were asymptomatic, never had gallstone attacks or anything.  A lot of the population has asymptomatic gallstones, it's not as uncommon as people think, so I really believe my restriction is what started causing the problems.

 

The second issue was developing a prolonged QTc (heart issue) which appears to be from low potassium and brought on by extreme dieting/restriction.  


CW: 158 lbs
GW 1: 199 lbs
GW 2: 179 lbs
GW 3: 149 lbs
GW 4: 135 lbs
GW 5: 111lbs
UGW: 85 lbs


#20 skellyjelly

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Posted 14 October 2021 - 06:18 PM

This is my last chance to lose as much weight as I can as quickly as I can or I will simply give up on myself and just let myself eat howevermuch I want untill my death.

eating yourself to death is not an option and should never have been considered an option. It is a slow, miserable, embarrassing way to die that means losing your mobility and depending on your loved ones to care for you while you kill yourself. Don't do that to your family. Don't do it to yourself. You deserve better and so do they.

I've never been that heavy but I have been able to stop binging on sweets, and breaking that cycle only took me a few days once I set my mind to it. I went from being unable to stop despite feeling uncomfortably full to being able to have half a pastry without being tempted to go back and eat the other half. If you have the willpower to fast, you have the willpower to cut sweets out of your diet so that if you do want to enjoy something sweet you can have a piece to satisfy that craving without triggering a full-blown binge.

The only carbs you need are vegetables. Your plate should be half protein, half veg. If you want any other carb you are welcome to indulge as often as once every day, but only a third of your plate with your protein & veggies. If it tastes sweet, you don't need it, even if it's sugar free.

Not all calories are created equal. Some people can lose weight eating small amounts of garbage, but I can't eat garbage and keep it down to small amounts. Carbs are garbage. Just my opinion.

Wishing you the best of luck in taking your life back. Be patient. It took time to get here and it will take time to get yourself back. You are worth it. Your family is worth it. But food is not worth dying for.
5'6"/168
SW: 144/66 | CW:~130/59 | UGW: 99/45

I am a skeleton trapped in gelatin please free me



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