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What was your moment of “this is really fucked up” (and here’s mine)


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#1 Vatcape

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Posted 13 October 2021 - 08:42 PM

I think I just had that moment. That moment of “Fuck, I’ve really fucking gone off the deep end.”

 

uh, TMI for gross body things. But if you’re here you probably don’t need the warning. 

 

So I was sat having explosive diarrhea on the toilet from lax abuse and I realized I could bend over and vomit into the bathtub at the same time. So I starting purging over the tub while at the same time emptying the contents of my bowels into the toilet and then my vision went black and I got this ringing headache and I thought for a second I was gonna pass out. 
 

Y’all I’m real down bad. 


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EDNOS
Addicted to purging.

Probably thinking about food.

Cares too much. 
 

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#2 skinnymicribs

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Posted 13 October 2021 - 09:43 PM

you are a whole different breed of bulimia 😟 you good???
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#3 cloudpurple

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Posted 13 October 2021 - 09:44 PM

Mine was when I would down any bottle of liquor just to make myself puke before I knew how to make myself throw up with my fingers. I could have died of alcohol poisoning so many times
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#4 Vatcape

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Posted 13 October 2021 - 11:03 PM

you are a whole different breed of bulimia you good???

I feel like the answer to this is a very solid no lmaooooo 


EDNOS
Addicted to purging.

Probably thinking about food.

Cares too much. 
 

9071cd7351ba911c6d94aab3f7995a18.gif
 


#5 Vatcape

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Posted 13 October 2021 - 11:04 PM

Mine was when I would down any bottle of liquor just to make myself puke before I knew how to make myself throw up with my fingers. I could have died of alcohol poisoning so many times

omg this is intense. I feel for you ;-; <3


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EDNOS
Addicted to purging.

Probably thinking about food.

Cares too much. 
 

9071cd7351ba911c6d94aab3f7995a18.gif
 


#6 dégueulasse

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Posted 13 October 2021 - 11:06 PM

visited my dad two days ago and did the same ol' thing I used to do when I was a teen: purge in front of the old man without him noticing because he's visually impaired. except i'm now an adult, can outdrink him in the course of a day and i'm better at hf purging.

 

halp

 

sending you hugz n stuff op


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#7 gilgi

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Posted 13 October 2021 - 11:11 PM

purging on a balcony at night while it was raining

all in all not a great experience, felt very movie-esque though tbh
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#8 dégueulasse

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Posted 13 October 2021 - 11:18 PM

purging on a balcony at night while it was raining

all in all not a great experience, felt very movie-esque though tbh

what was your container of choice? How was the evening going?


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#9 gilgi

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Posted 13 October 2021 - 11:27 PM

what was your container of choice? How was the evening going?

my fav beige trash can! i also purged with my hood up, felt a bit trippy. evening was very shitty, during that period of my life i basically just rotted away in my bedroom, don't recommend

now i purge in my room though and have moved on to new trash cans/buckets, life is easier
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#10 glitter♡

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Posted 14 October 2021 - 12:19 AM

Mine was when I filled up a 5 gallon bucket with vomit. Like it was filled to the brim after one long ass bp session, and it was just so much vomit. Shocked me a lil. And then also, leaving buckets just out in the open and letting the vomit rot and dumping it out days later. It was when I left the house and returned with fresh eyes to see the buckets just sitting around the house that I was like wtf I’m so fcked up


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#11 gilgi

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Posted 14 October 2021 - 12:52 AM

Mine was when I filled up a 5 gallon bucket with vomit. Like it was filled to the brim after one long ass bp session, and it was just so much vomit. Shocked me a lil. And then also, leaving buckets just out in the open and letting the vomit rot and dumping it out days later. It was when I left the house and returned with fresh eyes to see the buckets just sitting around the house that I was like wtf I’m so fcked up

god yeah or when you enter your room and smell the puke stench and realise, fuck i'm way too desensitised to this
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#12 StarvingLlama*-*

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Posted 14 October 2021 - 06:04 AM

Probably when I was so depressed I haven't showered in weeks and only went to the store to get binge food and then spend 7 hours b/ping like every day. Filled my 10 liter bucket at least 6 times in that time frame (I drink lots of water when b/ping) . Afterwards I was too tired so the dishes kept piling up for 2 weeks, my toilet was moldy because I haven't cleaned it in a month. I had pizza boxes and 4 bags of trash in my room and a bucket full of vomit. I just couldn't get off my bed I was so exhausted but suddenly I had diarrhea so I ran to the toilet when I was done I grabbed my vodka and Coke zero and got drunk SHed and cried a bit until I was tired enough to pass out and sleep. Did this when I was still in uni living alone and this lasted for a year. Barely visited my family during that time. I have no idea how I survived that time tbh or how I stayed in uni for 2 years without failing anything
Glad it's better now this was hell

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#13 Menfukuro

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Posted 14 October 2021 - 06:40 AM

Probably when I was so depressed I haven't showered in weeks and only went to the store to get binge food and then spend 7 hours b/ping like every day. Filled my 10 liter bucket at least 6 times in that time frame (I drink lots of water when b/ping) . Afterwards I was too tired so the dishes kept piling up for 2 weeks, my toilet was moldy because I haven't cleaned it in a month. I had pizza boxes and 4 bags of trash in my room and a bucket full of vomit. I just couldn't get off my bed I was so exhausted but suddenly I had diarrhea so I ran to the toilet when I was done I grabbed my vodka and Coke zero and got drunk SHed and cried a bit until I was tired enough to pass out and sleep. Did this when I was still in uni living alone and this lasted for a year. Barely visited my family during that time. I have no idea how I survived that time tbh or how I stayed in uni for 2 years without failing anything
Glad it's better now this was hell

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We must be the same person. I just had a huge de ja vu reading this except the vodka (I started drinking at 28 before that I didn’t thank god)

It was fucked up.
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#14 serotonana

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Posted 14 October 2021 - 07:05 AM

well for me i always had dental problems and weak teeth in general but purging fucked me up real bad, i remember my 4 upper front teeth just fell while i was purging. Like literally, almost the entire tooth fell from my mouth and i was just sitting there, lucky enough (not really) my roots were healthy enough to get uhhh crowns ?? sorry i dont have enough vocabulary for this lol

#15 Vatcape

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Posted 14 October 2021 - 08:12 AM

Mine was when I filled up a 5 gallon bucket with vomit. Like it was filled to the brim after one long ass bp session, and it was just so much vomit. Shocked me a lil. And then also, leaving buckets just out in the open and letting the vomit rot and dumping it out days later. It was when I left the house and returned with fresh eyes to see the buckets just sitting around the house that I was like wtf I’m so fcked up

That sounds intense, I totally relate tho <3

 

Probably when I was so depressed I haven't showered in weeks and only went to the store to get binge food and then spend 7 hours b/ping like every day. Filled my 10 liter bucket at least 6 times in that time frame (I drink lots of water when b/ping) . Afterwards I was too tired so the dishes kept piling up for 2 weeks, my toilet was moldy because I haven't cleaned it in a month. I had pizza boxes and 4 bags of trash in my room and a bucket full of vomit. I just couldn't get off my bed I was so exhausted but suddenly I had diarrhea so I ran to the toilet when I was done I grabbed my vodka and Coke zero and got drunk SHed and cried a bit until I was tired enough to pass out and sleep. Did this when I was still in uni living alone and this lasted for a year. Barely visited my family during that time. I have no idea how I survived that time tbh or how I stayed in uni for 2 years without failing anything
Glad it's better now this was hell

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Dude I went through very similar shit in college, ugh I feel you and I’m so sorry you went through that, it reminds me of how I was too. 

well for me i always had dental problems and weak teeth in general but purging fucked me up real bad, i remember my 4 upper front teeth just fell while i was purging. Like literally, almost the entire tooth fell from my mouth and i was just sitting there, lucky enough (not really) my roots were healthy enough to get uhhh crowns ?? sorry i dont have enough vocabulary for this lol

Oh no omg ;-; This is honestly my biggest fear. How long into your b/p illness was this?


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EDNOS
Addicted to purging.

Probably thinking about food.

Cares too much. 
 

9071cd7351ba911c6d94aab3f7995a18.gif
 


#16 StarvingLlama*-*

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Posted 14 October 2021 - 08:12 AM

We must be the same person. I just had a huge de ja vu reading this except the vodka (I started drinking at 28 before that I didn’t thank god)

It was fucked up.

Sorry you can relate so much. It really was a horrible time

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#17 Tardigrades and Tea

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Posted 14 October 2021 - 10:34 PM

B/ping for the high when my roommate was in their own bathroom on the other side of our paper thin walls, then abusing laxatives because I still felt disgusting, then getting drunk very quickly immediately after the lax because the post-purge comedown was really rough and I knew exactly how empty my stomach was and how hard it would hit. Then forgetting to empty my puke bucket and coming back drunk off my tits, stumbling in as my vision blacked out from my messed up electrolytes/blood pressure, and just sticking my hand in the puke to clean the container out because I’m that beyond caring.

It’s the unceremonious shoving my bare hand into a bucket of my own dehydrated puke like “yeah, just another Tuesday” that did it for me. There were so many other options. But no. Hand is quickest. Hand it is. Completely desensitized.

But tonight’s discovery of a small tear in my esophagus, giant salivary glands, and barely having the energy to lift my arm to brush my teeth also kinda got me, ngl
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back on my bs

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#18 pillsandmatcha

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Posted 15 October 2021 - 08:32 AM

Not technically bulimic but I have purged and also abused lax. I feel some lax abuse coming on so I figured when I go to the drug store tomorrow I should pick up some diapers so I don't have to wake up in my own cold feces when I'm blitzed on a sleeping drug cocktail at night. Then realized how low and gross that is.
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#19 kitn

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Posted 15 October 2021 - 09:25 AM

purging on a balcony at night while it was raining

all in all not a great experience, felt very movie-esque though tbh

 

so romantic lol


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ask me things

msgs broken sorry!


#20 kitn

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Posted 15 October 2021 - 09:25 AM

I've purged at the same time lax kicked in too 


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