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too old to pursue something


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#1 scarlet witch ✨

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Posted 06 November 2021 - 04:32 PM

Do you ever feel like you've lost your chance to pursue something? And it's because of your disorder? 

I dropped out of college at 21 because I was in and out of ED facilities. I didn't go back because my loans went into default and I couldn't get more financial aid. I spent a long time taking courses here and there at community colleges but never actually finished a degree.

I've wanted to be a doctor (surgeon, ideally) for a really long time but I dunno, I feel like 33 is too old to start. I finally got out of default because I consolidated and I started a surgical technology program. I would assist in operating rooms which is cool... but it just feels like a bummer. I worry it wont be fulfilling because it's not my dream, you know? I was thinking that once I start working as a surg tech I'd have the money for medical school and I could do both. But it's just so long.... and there's also internship and residency and ugh. 

Also I want to have a baby at some point? And I feel like time is running out for that. 

 

idk why I posted this, just wanted to vent I guess


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#2 Bigdaddy’spizza

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Posted 06 November 2021 - 04:48 PM

OMG YES! Every day of my life. I feel like I'm too old to reach my goals and I'm only 22. I should have started at 16...


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#3 seren-ade-dipity

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Posted 06 November 2021 - 05:05 PM

awww i don't really have any advice, but i admire you for wanting to pursue your dreams!! i say go for it and i'm cheering for you!! it can't possibly hurt to try, right?

also, i think people who want to be doctors/surgeons are really really cool *^* good luck whatever you choose though!!!


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#4 Thenudenerd

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Posted 06 November 2021 - 05:14 PM

Personally, I think it's amazing you have dreams. Oprah didn't become Oprah until she was 32, and she's not the only one. Several actors got started way late and are really successful.

I don't think I really have dreams anymore, maybe I never did. I'm 33 and wish I had something I really wanted to be. Mostly I'm just amazed I'm still alive.

You're alive AND you have a dream. Don't waste that.

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#5 restlessandconfused

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Posted 06 November 2021 - 05:31 PM

where are you? i ask as it affects how much debt your study would land you in, which would certainly impact my decisions.

 

i don't have a MD but i have a BSc, MSc and PhD in the UK. i had to take time out of each due to my ED and got a lot of special consideration due to it in my bachelors and masters. barely feel like i deserve them tbh. phd was earned though.

 

the difference in your case is that you probably can't just pass someone based on special consideration when it might lead to them treating patients when they aren't ready. if you're stable in your recovery then there's no reason why you can't do this. in fact, the qualities that got you with a bad ED can probably be focused on your studies to good effect.

 

it is a long road. i'd totally prioritise having a baby. i'm 35 and only just at a point in my life where i feel like i could have one and ohmygod its just tick tock tick tock tick tock. i've heard of people pursuing med degrees in their 40s and 50s. its doable. 

 

it sounds like you're in a great place with so much hope and plans for the future. that in itself is amazing. don't let the associated anxiety detract from that.


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#6 scarlet witch ✨

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Posted 06 November 2021 - 05:40 PM

where are you? i ask as it affects how much debt your study would land you in, which would certainly impact my decisions.

 

i don't have a MD but i have a BSc, MSc and PhD in the UK. i had to take time out of each due to my ED and got a lot of special consideration due to it in my bachelors and masters. barely feel like i deserve them tbh. phd was earned though.

 

the difference in your case is that you probably can't just pass someone based on special consideration when it might lead to them treating patients when they aren't ready. if you're stable in your recovery then there's no reason why you can't do this. in fact, the qualities that got you with a bad ED can probably be focused on your studies to good effect.

 

it is a long road. i'd totally prioritise having a baby. i'm 35 and only just at a point in my life where i feel like i could have one and ohmygod its just tick tock tick tock tick tock. i've heard of people pursuing med degrees in their 40s and 50s. its doable. 

 

it sounds like you're in a great place with so much hope and plans for the future. that in itself is amazing. don't let the associated anxiety detract from that.

Thank you for this!

And yes the tick tock tick tock is SO REAL

Every time I see a baby my internal clock is like HI I WANT ONE. Like I finally understand why tv shows would have women with baby fever crying every time they see one lmao 


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#7 restlessandconfused

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Posted 06 November 2021 - 05:46 PM

Thank you for this!

And yes the tick tock tick tock is SO REAL

Every time I see a baby my internal clock is like HI I WANT ONE. Like I finally understand why tv shows would have women with baby fever crying every time they see one lmao 

yeah for real. i always thought it was some patriarchal bullshit til i got started working in biosciences and saw the graphs related to genetic problems, etc as mothers age increases. 

 

now i'm petrified my ED has taken my fertility (i had amenorrhea for a loooonnngggg time). but yeah every baby i see or every time i hear someone is pregnant my soul cries. 

 

my gut says put that first. i'm in a different position to you cos i have established myself in a career i'm happy in already. but i just feel like, compared to that instinct, nothing else matters. i have a few years before that door closes, everything else can wait.


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#8 Pax~Immorte

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Posted 07 November 2021 - 12:07 PM

I can totally relate to this, especially with the brain damage I have now since I was in school. But my mum went back to school at 50 and totally restarted her career and life after my dad left us and she is my inspiration and hero so if she can pull that amazing feat off, I figure why the hell not?
So I have hope of returning to some kind of career or education one day. It’s never too late!
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#9 kiutgly

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Posted 07 November 2021 - 11:32 PM

I have a friend that finished her career as a doctor and after that she just completely changed the curse of her life and taked a break. She was going to marry but they broke up and she just stopped to analyze what she really wanted to do. Now she is taking classes for another 2 careers and lives by herself and just enjoy what she's learning. I admire her because she is a very strong and intelligent woman and even when she was scared of her future, she accepted that she didn't wanted to be a doctor and pursued what she wanted. It's never too late to start to do things you like. These 2 past years were absolutely horrible for me because something really traumatic happened and I'm learning that this is my life and I deserve to try things that makes me feel happy with myself. I started a new job and now I'm back living on my own and independent again, I'm going to give a chance to this one career I've thinking about one and a half year now, and I of course I feel like I should have my degree by now but I'm really excited about doing something that is possibly make me feel more complete and happy. Tbh, I'm really proud of you cause you have projects and dreams and you are better financially because of your hard work, that's a really badass thing. Don't let the idea of being "too old" of this society break your spirit. I wish you the best and I'm proud of you. You can do it. Give yourself a chance to try what you need and want.
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#10 henrywinter

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Posted 09 November 2021 - 11:36 AM

I went back to uni at 27 and graduated. Now i'm thinking i should go back and get a different degree. I also want to pursue other careers, hobbies and so on. Idk, there seem to be endless possibilities. You're never too old. I mean you are alive so you can do anything.


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#11 PixietheKitten

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Posted 09 November 2021 - 12:17 PM

Never to late to dream, my ED rules most of my life made me homeless, jobless and just on the bottom and today im finally starting to get on my feet and get my first place at 36. Do i feel way behind all my other friends who are married with kids and everything? oh absolulty but look back at where you started and see how far uve come aleardy :), Now realize you still have a whole life ahead of you to do more


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#12 keepingupappearances

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Posted 09 November 2021 - 08:44 PM

Honestly, I don’t have a ton of hope for myself, but that doesn’t really have to do with my age. That said, my dad got a master’s degree in his 50s and a PhD at 60. I do not think it’s “too late,” especially for someone in their 30s.
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#13 getthur

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Posted 14 November 2021 - 12:13 AM

River, I remember being concerned about this too but one really simple thought that I was told once struck me and always helped my motivations, and that’s that you will be idk what age, you will be, let’s say, 43 anyway (hopefully), you will anyhow pursued goal or not pursued goal right? So it may be a matter of perspective. No matter what you’ll be that many years older so might as well be that many years older doing what you want to be doing then and for the years after that.
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#14 restlessandconfused

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Posted 14 November 2021 - 05:16 AM

i got so lucky that my uni was very understanding and i didn't have to drop out. there was a whole year that i could barely attend and they didn't make me retake it, they just did an interview instead of exams and gave me a load of mitigation. that was actually my best year marks wise. 

 

i'd say pursue your dreams. it will give you something to motivate you in recovery. it doesn't matter if it will take a long time to achieve them, though i do agree its much more intimidating to embark on something that will take a very long time to come to fruition 

 

i am trying for a baby and also scared i've left it too late. i'm 35 and had amenorrhea for over a decade. 




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