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I got fired


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#1 iceblinks

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Posted 07 December 2021 - 02:11 PM

I’ve been steadily gaining weight over the past year and I just got an email today, one of my only days off, that I was being terminated because they don’t think I can’t physically do the job anymore.

In the US, in a right-to-work state, so they can fire me for wearing the wrong mascara for all the law cares.

I work (worked) at a veterinary clinic that specializes in spay and neuter surgeries. It’s very go-go-go. I’ve been slower lately I guess although it was never brought to my attention that anyone noticed or cared. Probably because it’s just awkward to talk about and would take too long for me to fix.

It’s never hit me harder than now that I have a problem. I used to lean closer to ana, I “recovered” and fell into BED. I weight 220 pounds, about a hundred pounds more than just a couple of years ago.

How do you deal with the depression, guys? I want to die.
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#2 Em0ch1

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Posted 07 December 2021 - 02:23 PM

i honestly don't know what to say except i feel truly sorry for you.

#3 ForeverDieting

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Posted 07 December 2021 - 02:23 PM

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#4 sarahhoward641

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Posted 07 December 2021 - 02:48 PM

Well, at least you can file for unemployment and have some sort of income until you get another job. I don't know what state you're in, but usually you can go to the office of vocational rehabilitation and apply there or go to unemployment office. They should've talked to you about your job performance first since it cost more to train and hire a new person than to keep someone who already works there.


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#5 robolokidA

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Posted 07 December 2021 - 02:51 PM

I am so sorry! I really don't know what to say. I hope you the best of luck finding a new job, and best of luck in life.With covid jobs hire less people. 

I don't know how you can deal with depression as I suffer from it as well, all I do is take anti-depressants. But I can recomend you going for walks, if you can of course, they might help.

 

I wish you the best of luck and sending you lots of hugs!


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#6 iceblinks

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Posted 07 December 2021 - 03:13 PM

Thanks everyone for your kind words. I am now looking into the unemployment options. I think it will cover a month while I apply to other jobs. I have thought about a lawyer but with this being a right-to-work state, they can literally fire me for anything they want (other than like, pregnancy)

I just feel like a big fat failure.
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#7 GothGhoulfriend

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Posted 07 December 2021 - 03:20 PM

Federal and state discrimination statutes prohibit employers from basing employment decisions on an employee’s race, color, religion, sex, national origin, age, disability, or veteran status.  Specific state statutes may also protect employees from discrimination based on other factors, such as sexual orientation.
And, yes, these apply in at-will states. I'd really recommend at least consulting a lawyer, I don't know exactly how/if this applies here, I'm no lawyer, but it sounds to me like they're discriminating against you due to a physical disability.
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#8 iceblinks

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Posted 07 December 2021 - 03:41 PM

Federal and state discrimination statutes prohibit employers from basing employment decisions on an employee’s race, color, religion, sex, national origin, age, disability, or veteran status. Specific state statutes may also protect employees from discrimination based on other factors, such as sexual orientation.
And, yes, these apply in at-will states. I'd really recommend at least consulting a lawyer, I don't know exactly how/if this applies here, I'm no lawyer, but it sounds to me like they're discriminating against you due to a physical disability.


It’s not really a disability, more of I got fat and slower than I used to be? There’s nothing I can’t do. I just do it slower. And to be honest it might just be a front for firing me because I’m fat now. The owners are both middle aged men and all the techs are young skinny girls and I’ve been feeling out of place for a while. They’ll be talking about their diets together and they all have protein shakes for lunch and then there’s me. I can’t help but feel like “slower than you used to be” is a nice way of saying fatter. But I still have a disordered mindset so who knows. It’s just hard when that’s the only reason they could give me.

I ended up calling the manager and asking about it today and I ended up crying because I love working with animals and asked if there was a way to have me be “probationary” while I work on my speed, and he just kept saying he was sorry but couldn’t do anything.
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#9 θαυματοποιός

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Posted 09 December 2021 - 11:16 AM

Can you see if you can hire an employment lawyer to look into it for you?
Most of the times they don't even charge upfront, they'll just for a percentage of the compensation if they finally get one, and could possibly get you back to work

I also lost my job due to ED/depression, I understand it's quite hard to deal with. Sadly I don't have many tips to deal with it...
Sending you hugs

As someone in a right to work state who has tried this, definitely not good advice. I was actually counter sued for multiple different things such as false accusations, and other things I can't remember the legal name for bc brain fog. Ended up owing my lawyer money AND having to pay the company I was suing. 

Right to work takes basic rights and shits on them, lights them on fire, and throws them into a river of oil. Most companies will put in paperwork that you weren't fit for the position anymore, and unless they openly state "you are terminated because you are gay, you are terminated because you have ____ disorder/disease" they aren't breaking laws, which means no lawsuit and the state won't give a singular fuck lol.



#10 θαυματοποιός

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Posted 09 December 2021 - 11:22 AM

I wish I could say there was an easy solution, but honestly just moving on as quickly as possible is your best bet. 
I definitely relate as I was hired when I was a serving for (what I overheard from the bartender) being "not pleasing to the eye, no one wanted to see her in a bar."  
As for the right to work, fuck I know the struggle too well as I've also been fired the day after I brought a partner in of the same gender and told it was "just not going to work out." 


Get into a cushy job, aim for something that openly posts about social things they support on their social media. employers stalk your social media, so you can stalk theirs. I have a job at my university now, approaching 2 years, have transitioned, detransitioned, transitioned, and detransitioned, openly talked about having partners of the same gender, etc and I've never been even written up. 

once you get into something significantly better, it'll just become a smudge that is just annoying more than anything.



#11 NLP

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Posted 09 December 2021 - 11:43 AM

You're not a big fat failure, you are suffering from an ED 

 

I'm sorry you are going thru this shit RN

 

I wonder,,,, could you offer to walk dogs for neighbours or something while you are figuring out your next move?

Just a thought, you're good with animals, get some exercise, feel poz about yourself,,,,,,,

 

x


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#12 Mindful Lady

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Posted 12 December 2021 - 02:08 PM

I'm sorry to hear this. It sounds very harsh from your former employers' part and must be so upsetting, it's understandable that you feel down.

 

Apologies if I sound shallow and insensitive, but have you tried to read some books about binge eating? They can be very helpful,t he two I always recommend are Brain Over Binge Recovery Guide

and Overcoming Binge Eating.

Sending you a virtual hug, hopefully you'll be able to find another job you enjoy pretty soon xox



#13 CConfused

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Posted 13 December 2021 - 06:27 AM

I'm sorry :( My mom went through the same thing rcently (being fired because she was 'too slow'. .) and it really devastated her. In her case, we think it was more age discrimination than anything else. It devastated her at first, though now she's glad that she's away. The environment had been toxic for years prior but she was too scared to leave. Now she has no choice.

She still hasn't found another job yet & unemployment hasn't gotten through despite it being months. . So that's annoying. But, over all, I'm grateful she's not in that environment anymore.

It sounds like your coworkers weren't the easiest people to be around too.

#14 NovemberChrysanthemum

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Posted 13 December 2021 - 10:45 AM

It’s not really a disability, more of I got fat and slower than I used to be? There’s nothing I can’t do. I just do it slower. And to be honest it might just be a front for firing me because I’m fat now. The owners are both middle aged men and all the techs are young skinny girls and I’ve been feeling out of place for a while. They’ll be talking about their diets together and they all have protein shakes for lunch and then there’s me. I can’t help but feel like “slower than you used to be” is a nice way of saying fatter. But I still have a disordered mindset so who knows. It’s just hard when that’s the only reason they could give me.

I ended up calling the manager and asking about it today and I ended up crying because I love working with animals and asked if there was a way to have me be “probationary” while I work on my speed, and he just kept saying he was sorry but couldn’t do anything.


This is just a suggestion, but could you say you're getting professional help in getting healthier? If you're a good employer who loves animals, they should be supportive of you. Unfortunately, vet places can be very busy and frenetic.

#15 Team_DietDrPepper

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Posted 28 December 2021 - 07:16 PM

I am so so sorry that happened to you, that was a shitty move on their end. I was fired once when I had to go to treatment, it was pretty messed up (I also live in a right to work state. It sucked and I was very upset by it for a while. However I found a new job and it is so much better for me, I love it and my boss and coworkers are supportive and understanding. I really hope your situation works out too. Sending virtual hugs!


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#16 NovemberChrysanthemum

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Posted 29 December 2021 - 06:59 PM

I hope you're doing okay. ❤❤

#17 elaxo

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Posted 29 December 2021 - 10:29 PM

i know you posted this a while ago but my dms are always open if you want to have a chat <3


current weight - 13.2 stone/184lbs

goal weight one - 13 stone

goal weight two - 12 stone

goal weight three - 11 stone

goal weight four - 10 stone

goal weight five - 9 stone (by june 2022)

 

 

goal weight six - 8 stone

goal weight seven - 7 stone

ultimate goal weight - 6 stone

 

In the UK we measure weight in stone so that's why my weight is in stone (14lbs = 1 stone)

 



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