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I'm a pear-shaped girl in a thigh gap world.

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#1 wanted_thin

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Posted 11 January 2022 - 04:00 PM

Hi,

 

I'm 32, female, and back again.

5'4. 190 with clothes. 

 

HW:190's

LW:117

GW: Anything lower than I am today. 

 

I'm no stranger to this rodeo.

 

In childhood, I always felt unhappy about my body- particularly my thighs.

In adolescence, around 16 or so and started restricting during a difficult time in life.

Dabbled with purging but never made it a habit out of fear of my employer noticing (I worked at a dental office).

Dabbled with laxatives and diet pills as well. Mostly I went for restricting and exercise though. It always felt the best. 

 

At 21, alcohol entered the picture and thus began my "drunkorexia" phase in my early to mid-20's, mostly during graduate school with dysfunction peaking during the fallout thereof. 

The past few years have largely been binging alcohol and food.

I've even somehow managed to create being the "fat girl who never turns down food" persona at work.

Just, *sigh* embarrassing.

 

I'm at the highest weight I've ever been in my life. Frankly, I am even more disgusted than usual with myself.

I've been feeling really old, invisible, worthless, isolated, and generally unhappy lately. 

 

But I haven't had food in 22 hours and feel good about it.

 

Looking forward to being here and finding my people. 

Or at the very least- being honest. 

 


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#2 Razor_thin_beauty

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Posted 13 January 2022 - 09:13 AM

Hello :)

First off I wanted to say that I relate so much to the title of your post! I too am a pear shaped girl in a thigh gap world. Also I can relate to feeling old (I'm also 32), worthless, isolated, and generally unhappy. I am sorry you are struggling but I wanted to let you know you will definitely find a lot of people here you can relate to and people here are really supportive.
  • desrinalrdy8, wanted_thin and Here and There like this
5'2"
32 y/o
CW: 103.9 lbs
HW: 185 lbs
LW: 94 lbs

SW: 104.8 lbs (Nov 29th 2021)

1st set of goal weights
105☆ 104☆ 103 102 101 100

2nd set of goal weights
99, 98, 97, 96, 95, 94

3rd set of goal weights
93, 92, 91, 89, 88, 87, 86

UGW: 85 lbs (100 pounds less then my HW)

All the roses in the garden
They bow and ask her pardon
For not one could match the beauty
Of the Queen of all Argyll

#3 fandomz-fangirl

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Posted 14 January 2022 - 09:07 PM

hi! I can completely relate to the title of your post lol. hope u enjoy mpa!


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#4 scarecrows

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Posted 16 January 2022 - 10:35 PM

welcome back


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╔⊶⊷⊷⊶⊷⊷⊶⊶⊶✞⊷⊷⊷⊷⊷⊷⊷⊷⊷╗

ᵇᵉᵗᵗᵉʳ ᵗᵒ ᶜᵘᵐ ⁱⁿ ᵗʰᵉ ˢⁱⁿᵏ ᵗʰᵃⁿ ˢⁱⁿᵏ ⁱⁿ ᵗʰᵉ ᶜᵘᵐ

╚⊶⊶⊷⊷⊷⊷⊷⊶⊶✞⊷⊷⊷⊷⊷⊷⊷⊷⊷╝

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support homeless LGBT+ youth

 

Spoiler

 

 

 
 

 

Spoiler


 


#5 ang3lwings

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Posted 16 January 2022 - 11:45 PM

welcome back

totally, completely irrelevant but.. ur location made me choke on my water lmfao


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 HW: 189.2 lbs   CW: 108.4 lbs   LW: 102.4 lbs

 

- 125 - 120 - 115 - 110 - 105 - 100 - 95 - 90 -

 

Height: 5'5 - UGW: 90 lbs


#6 scarecrows

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Posted 17 January 2022 - 01:28 AM

totally, completely irrelevant but.. ur location made me choke on my water lmfao

HAHAH THANK U


╔⊶⊷⊷⊶⊷⊷⊶⊶⊶✞⊷⊷⊷⊷⊷⊷⊷⊷⊷╗

ᵇᵉᵗᵗᵉʳ ᵗᵒ ᶜᵘᵐ ⁱⁿ ᵗʰᵉ ˢⁱⁿᵏ ᵗʰᵃⁿ ˢⁱⁿᵏ ⁱⁿ ᵗʰᵉ ᶜᵘᵐ

╚⊶⊶⊷⊷⊷⊷⊷⊶⊶✞⊷⊷⊷⊷⊷⊷⊷⊷⊷╝

ZfwfHfR.gif

support homeless LGBT+ youth

 

Spoiler

 

 

 
 

 

Spoiler


 


#7 desrinalrdy8

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Posted 18 January 2022 - 02:43 AM

wow hi- i relate to everything you said down to not turning down food in the office.. sorry you’re struggling but you’ve certainly found your people and we’re here to support!


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#8 wanted_thin

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Posted 18 January 2022 - 09:49 AM

Hello :)

First off I wanted to say that I relate so much to the title of your post! I too am a pear shaped girl in a thigh gap world. Also I can relate to feeling old (I'm also 32), worthless, isolated, and generally unhappy. I am sorry you are struggling but I wanted to let you know you will definitely find a lot of people here you can relate to and people here are really supportive

 

Thank you so much for your welcome. It's so hard being the thick legged fat ass person. Thankful I'm not the only old fart around here.  :)

 

 

 

wow hi- i relate to everything you said down to not turning down food in the office.. sorry you’re struggling but you’ve certainly found your people and we’re here to support!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

Thank you for your welcome.  I feel like every office has that one person that likes to bake stuff and bring it in. My office has 3! 



#9 wanted_thin

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Posted 18 January 2022 - 10:40 AM

Update:

 

I'm not sure where else to put this. I haven't quite figured out how to or if I even have access to make my own blog post yet.

It can live here until I figure my shit out.

 

Stats:

DATE       CALORIES            WEIGHT (Lb)

1/10          902                         skip        

1/11            0                           190

1/12          804                         188.2

1/13            0                           187.3

1/14          924                         185.8

1/15          919/596net             skip

1/16          1369/753net           186.7

1/17          1139                        186.0

AVG:         885/728net            187.3

 

Last week I fasted on work from home days. 

Days I physically go to work it's just really challenging to skip food physically and socially. So I usually eat a sandwich and a cup of soup for lunch.

Dinners have largely been rice/chana masala or 1/2 a chipotle bowl.

I like to cook an egg one turkey sausage patty and a few hashbrowns on weekend mornings. It's so luxurious to have a warm "brunch" to me and usually gets me out of family lunch.

There's some raw veggies and hummus peppered in there on the weekend days too. 

I walked 3.2 miles on the 15th and 6.5 miles on the 16th in the cold to make chips and guac happen which explains the uptick in gross calories on the 16th/17th.

 

This week, IDK if total fasting is going to happen during WFH days.

I'm due to start my period Saturday-Monday and I just know it's begging for trouble to skip out altogether with PMS. 

In the past day or so- despite eating more than during the workweek, food cravings have increased. 

I'm doing my best with all the liquids to stave them off, but it's going to be a challenge. 

I think I've settled on allowing some raw veggies/hummus for lunch and/or frozen veggies for dinner. shooting for a maximum of around 500 calories.

 

At the same time, i'm afraid to start eating because I'm afraid I'll binge. 

Historically PMS = binge time. 

 

On days I go to work, I'm hoping to to cut a little bit and have only soup (albeit, hardier than the 50cal lipton chicken cup of soup packet) and a slice of bread/ maybe some cheese.

That'll put me around 300 cals for lunch instead of 350/400.

Dinner will be some rice and some sort of protein - probably chicken. Some vegetables too of course. 

 

So we'll see. Good luck to me. 

 

 



#10 Shug

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Posted 18 January 2022 - 11:23 AM

Welcome, fellow pear!  Not to worry, there are plenty of us in the world.  The world is a BIIIIIIIIG place; I dare say there are more pear-shaped than thigh-gap girls around; we just notice what we're looking for.  We all have much in common here.  We're all your people.

 

Here's a podcast I love.  I was just listening to this episode and found it helpful.  God bless you in your journey!

 

https://brainoverbin...dr-amy-johnson/

 

Hugs,



#11 desrinalrdy8

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Posted 18 January 2022 - 03:18 PM

 

 

Thank you for your welcome.  I feel like every office has that one person that likes to bake stuff and bring it in. My office has 3! 

 

omg so true! i just realized i am one of 3 in my office lol tho we haven't' had many food events (they're on temp ban due to COVID) but im proud to say i've been turning down most snacks that float around haha





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