Please tell me I’m not alone in this - Page 2 - Anorexia Discussions - Forums and Community

Jump to content


About MPA

MPA is a site dedicated to the support or recovery of those suffering from eating disorders or body dysmorphic disorders. Please be sensitive to this fact when creating an account and contributing to the board.


Photo

Please tell me I’m not alone in this


  • Please log in to reply
31 replies to this topic

#21 Cripple Crow

Cripple Crow

    Omniscient

  • Accountability access
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 4042 posts

Posted 15 January 2022 - 03:31 AM

So eating nice food doesn’t make you wanna eat more of it and binge ?

#22 CloudAngel1

CloudAngel1

    Warrior

  • Accountability access
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 142 posts
  • LocationUnited States

Posted 15 January 2022 - 03:43 AM

No I've found if I let myself have things I enjoy I won't binge quite so often. But if I ate something I didn't actually like I found myself eating more later on to make up for the bad stuff. I will get rid of things that make me binge though if I find them too tempting.
Sent from FBI Van WiFi

#23 Ama-chawn

Ama-chawn

    Sage

  • Accountability access
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 1295 posts
  • Locationthe abyss

Posted 15 January 2022 - 04:03 AM

I used to eat bland food before my cooking got better and it actually caused me to overeat. I would have my meal, feel unsatisfied, which would lead to me binging on something tasty just to feel better.

Also, i feel satisfied eating sooner when my food is tasty. Since I will have enjoyed the taste and I generally don't feel full anyway so I will just call it a day, instead of eating more hoping to start feeling satisfied at some point.

Ah, Love! could thou and I with Fate conspire

To grasp this sorry Scheme of Things entire


Would not we shatter it to bits

and then Re-mould it nearer to the Heart's Desire!


​-Omar Khayyam


20210926-104916.jpg


[she/they]

167 5'6

cw:97 gw:88 ugw:77 bmi:15.7


#24 Orio

Orio

    Advanced Guru

  • Accountability access
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 765 posts
  • LocationEurope (Germany)

Posted 15 January 2022 - 06:06 AM

This makes me so so sad to read :(

Thank you so much. I struggle a lot at the moment.

 

Last weak I vacuum cleaned under the sofa and found some bamba (little puffed peanut snacks, similar to corn puffs, salty taste) and ate them like a beggar on my knees. I felt so worthless.


HW: 69 kgs - 152 lbs

after I tried recovery with the help of medication, and I really, really tried

 

LW 1: 38 kgs - 84 lbs

as a minor

 

LW 2: 42 kgs - 92 lbs

as an adult

 

GW: 47 kgs - 103 lbs

 

Height: 166 cm - 5.4 feet

 

 

  • AN-R diagnosed at the age of 9
  • AN-b/p diagnosed at the age of 13
  • since then a mix of AN and B
  • 37, mom of two, healthy BMI
  • I suffer, I am not on a diet!

 

 

 

 


#25 Sahara1

Sahara1

    Advanced Guru

  • Accountability access
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 748 posts

Posted 15 January 2022 - 06:09 AM

I allow myself to eat the leftovers of my kids food that falls to the floor. Of course I count cal but I am not worth to eat a real cracker, just leftover crumbs.


The only hot food/meal food I’ve had for a year other than in hospital is the food left on my kids plate or in the pan that was destined for the bin… I can’t make/cook food for myself. Don’t really get it, but if it’s food that is being wasted I feel like I have a valid reason to eat it. But it’s only a food thing, I buy myself nice clothes/Starbucks coffee ALL the time. It’s so weird

#26 Sahara1

Sahara1

    Advanced Guru

  • Accountability access
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 748 posts

Posted 15 January 2022 - 06:10 AM

So eating nice food doesn’t make you wanna eat more of it and binge ?


I only eat bland or plain food too. Like maybe I feel more guilt when I enjoy the food? And an element of being scared I’ll want more if it’s super nice, too

#27 hunthebun

hunthebun

    Advanced Sage

  • Accountability access
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 2495 posts
  • Locationhospital. still :(

Posted 15 January 2022 - 09:05 AM

if I have to have calories I want them to taste nice. 


  • morningbird likes this

SEED, beginning palliative care.
 
current BMI 10.7 [Jan 2021]
  

 

https://www.myproana.com/index.php/topic/4285135-huns-palliative-care-anorexia-diary/

 


#28 Spamton G. Spamton

Spamton G. Spamton

    Omniscient

  • Accountability access
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 4714 posts
  • Locationgo away

Posted 15 January 2022 - 09:13 AM

ahah im the exact opposite. all has to be as “worth the calories” as possible. we come in all shapes and symptoms - i know many who’re like you, and then there’s the other extreme that uses a tub of seasoning and ten sachets of sweetener per meal.

 

^that's deff me as well. If a meal feels bland and unsatisfying, then I feel like it's not worth the calories.


  • morningbird likes this

dK5uRZC.gif XvHEPhx.gif

 

cbmi: 18.2

 


#29 iwasneverhere01

iwasneverhere01

    Warrior

  • Accountability access
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 147 posts

Posted 15 January 2022 - 10:19 AM

the thing is i make sure EVERYTHING i eat, (and on high restriction) is good and flavorful, so binge urges are nonexistent :) because i know there’s gonna be more tasty food coming later

hmmm the craving for me doesnt go away even if ive had some already, so ig its different for everyone. besides at this point, i end up eating because of the taste of food, not because of its nutritional value, i dont see the value in food if it doesnt taste good, which is a curse in itself cause it makes me eat. maybe i should change that outlook if i wanna think like you loololol


"i don't have to eat this right now, i can eat it later"

 

height: 5'1 (155), age:18                               

 

hw: 130 (59)         bmi   24.6

lw: 102.6 (46.5)    bmi   19.2

 

cw: 105               bmi    19.8 

 

gw: 103 (46.7)     bmi    19.5

 

ugw: 90 (40.8)      bmi    17

 

 

live in usa  (EST)

 


#30 CleverFood-RelatedUsername

CleverFood-RelatedUsername

    Advanced Guru

  • Accountability access
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 877 posts

Posted 15 January 2022 - 10:26 AM

I tell myself I shouldn’t have any pleasure in food/shouldn’t enjoy it but still season the hell out of it to make it taste good

KitteninMilk.gif

Spoiler

#31 v!wvuv

v!wvuv

    Advanced Sage

  • Accountability access
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 1451 posts

Posted 15 January 2022 - 10:38 AM

I'm also in the "food has to be as perfect and flavourable as possible otherwise it's a waste of calories" group. If my meal isn't up to my standards I get this huge dilemma of whether I should eat it or not. Like, why waste the calories if it's not that good, but also I've already prepared it, I don't want to throw it away. And I want to keep high restricting so I don't completely fuck my body up, so I need the calories. And there will be better meals in the future. But then again it's waste in this specific moment so AAGH. I also get irrationally upset if my food's not visually perfect. It grinds my gears so much when I make toast for example and the cheese RIPS like how dare you not be a perfect smooth square you fucker no cover my bread perfectly to the edges.


  • Spamton G. Spamton and morningbird like this

#32 stonescold

stonescold

    Omniscient

  • Accountability access
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 4394 posts
  • Locationusa

Posted 15 January 2022 - 10:42 AM

I go thru phases like this also ):


0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users