Please tell me I’m not alone in this
Posted 15 January 2022 - 03:31 AM
Posted 15 January 2022 - 03:43 AM
Posted 15 January 2022 - 04:03 AM
Also, i feel satisfied eating sooner when my food is tasty. Since I will have enjoyed the taste and I generally don't feel full anyway so I will just call it a day, instead of eating more hoping to start feeling satisfied at some point.
Ah, Love! could thou and I with Fate conspire
To grasp this sorry Scheme of Things entire
Would not we shatter it to bits
and then Re-mould it nearer to the Heart's Desire!
167 ❆ 5'6
cw:97 ❆ gw:88 ❆ ugw:77 ❆ bmi:15.7
Posted 15 January 2022 - 06:06 AM
This makes me so so sad to read
Thank you so much. I struggle a lot at the moment.
Last weak I vacuum cleaned under the sofa and found some bamba (little puffed peanut snacks, similar to corn puffs, salty taste) and ate them like a beggar on my knees. I felt so worthless.
HW: 69 kgs - 152 lbs
after I tried recovery with the help of medication, and I really, really tried
LW 1: 38 kgs - 84 lbs
as a minor
LW 2: 42 kgs - 92 lbs
as an adult
GW: 47 kgs - 103 lbs
Height: 166 cm - 5.4 feet
- AN-R diagnosed at the age of 9
- AN-b/p diagnosed at the age of 13
- since then a mix of AN and B
- 37, mom of two, healthy BMI
- I suffer, I am not on a diet!
Posted 15 January 2022 - 06:09 AM
I allow myself to eat the leftovers of my kids food that falls to the floor. Of course I count cal but I am not worth to eat a real cracker, just leftover crumbs.
The only hot food/meal food I’ve had for a year other than in hospital is the food left on my kids plate or in the pan that was destined for the bin… I can’t make/cook food for myself. Don’t really get it, but if it’s food that is being wasted I feel like I have a valid reason to eat it. But it’s only a food thing, I buy myself nice clothes/Starbucks coffee ALL the time. It’s so weird
Posted 15 January 2022 - 06:10 AM
So eating nice food doesn’t make you wanna eat more of it and binge ?
I only eat bland or plain food too. Like maybe I feel more guilt when I enjoy the food? And an element of being scared I’ll want more if it’s super nice, too
Posted 15 January 2022 - 09:05 AM
if I have to have calories I want them to taste nice.
- morningbird likes this
SEED, beginning palliative care.
current BMI 10.7 [Jan 2021]
Posted 15 January 2022 - 09:13 AM
ahah im the exact opposite. all has to be as “worth the calories” as possible. we come in all shapes and symptoms - i know many who’re like you, and then there’s the other extreme that uses a tub of seasoning and ten sachets of sweetener per meal.
^that's deff me as well. If a meal feels bland and unsatisfying, then I feel like it's not worth the calories.
- morningbird likes this
Posted 15 January 2022 - 10:19 AM
the thing is i make sure EVERYTHING i eat, (and on high restriction) is good and flavorful, so binge urges are nonexistent because i know there’s gonna be more tasty food coming later
hmmm the craving for me doesnt go away even if ive had some already, so ig its different for everyone. besides at this point, i end up eating because of the taste of food, not because of its nutritional value, i dont see the value in food if it doesnt taste good, which is a curse in itself cause it makes me eat. maybe i should change that outlook if i wanna think like you loololol
"i don't have to eat this right now, i can eat it later"
height: 5'1 (155), age:18
hw: 130 (59) bmi 24.6
lw: 102.6 (46.5) bmi 19.2
cw: 105 bmi 19.8
gw: 103 (46.7) bmi 19.5
ugw: 90 (40.8) bmi 17
live in usa (EST)
Posted 15 January 2022 - 10:26 AM
Posted 15 January 2022 - 10:38 AM
I'm also in the "food has to be as perfect and flavourable as possible otherwise it's a waste of calories" group. If my meal isn't up to my standards I get this huge dilemma of whether I should eat it or not. Like, why waste the calories if it's not that good, but also I've already prepared it, I don't want to throw it away. And I want to keep high restricting so I don't completely fuck my body up, so I need the calories. And there will be better meals in the future. But then again it's waste in this specific moment so AAGH. I also get irrationally upset if my food's not visually perfect. It grinds my gears so much when I make toast for example and the cheese RIPS like how dare you not be a perfect smooth square you fucker no cover my bread perfectly to the edges.
- Spamton G. Spamton and morningbird like this
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