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#1 empty emily

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Posted 19 August 2013 - 10:45 PM

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(Let's talk strictly anorexia and bulimia for a moment.)

 

To those of you who are here seeking diet tips: Many members on this site have an eating disorder. We didn't sit down and decide that we'd like to lose weight. None of us will recommend to you doing the things that we've done. We understand what it's like to be stuck at a higher weight, hating yourself, but we also want you to understand, you're not going to love yourself or your body any more once you lose weight this way.

 

It is your body and there's nothing we can do to really stop you from doing any of this--from reading the forums, from taking tips--and we're not going to try. If you are going to do this, we'd like you to do it as safely as possible, and we can help you with that. We just want you to understand the risks of what you're doing, and to consider the fact that you will be harming your body, and that this could kill you.

 

Also, please think about this: diets are not all about losing weight quickly. It's about losing it and keeping it off. You should lose weight the healthy way and it is possible, period. There are no excuses, like, "oh, I've tried everything, nothing works!"--if you eat right and exercise, you WILL see results, end of story. We can't do that. If I could choose to start all over at 160 and lose weight the right way, I would in an instant. I've lost 35lbs since relapse and I still hate my body. I will always hate it, because I am sick. You could die doing this. We want you to understand the risks.

 

This community is, however, accepting of all of its members. You will not be treated any differently if you have an ED than if you don't have an ED. You will become part of the family here, no matter what. We will encourage you to seek help and we will support you through whatever mess you're in, but we do not encourage people to starve themselves. You will receive information on weight loss and nutrition from the experts, but you will not be told to starve yourself.

 

To the long-standing members: This site is all-inclusive. We should be accepting of everyone who comes here, even those looking for a "quick way to lose weight". We need to be supportive-- people come here for support, and to feel less alone. By telling someone without an ED who comes here to find diet tips to "leave" and that they are "stupid" or "not welcome here", you're doing far more harm than good.

 

We should explain these things to them. We've all become very knowledgeable about weight loss, calories, exercise, and things of this nature; they know this. If they ask us for tips, they're obviously desperate for some sort of help, so talk to them. We need to tell them what works and what will keep them healthy. Some of us know these things better than our doctors know them.

 

I don't want these dieters to develop develop an eating disorder any more than you do-- so show them how horrible this is for them. Warn them of the dangers. If they still want to proceed, there are obviously some deeper issues. You can encourage them to get help all you want, but ultimately, it's up to them what they do with their bodies.

 

I would not wish this disorder on my worst enemy. This is hell on earth.

You cannot choose to have an eating disorder, but you may develop one here. It is very triggering. You will become fascinated by food and overjoyed at your weight loss.

You may lose weight quickly through starving yourself, but that progress will be gone the moment you begin eating properly again.

 

This is not a diet. This is not a lifestyle. Should you choose to make this mental illness your diet or your lifestyle, you will be forever ruining your body, hurting those around you, and ultimately, killing yourself.

 

Once you start counting calories, you will never stop.

None of us want this for you. We want you to be happy, healthy, and able to love yourselves.

 

Please, be safe.


  • appuru, whatsername☆, Leigh. and 886 others like this

it's easy, there's a trick to it, you do it or you die.

H: 5'4" // CW:119 // BMI20.4

160 155 150 145 140 135 130 125 120 115 110 105

 6/1     6/4     6/8     6/15    6/23    7/8    7/31     8/25    11/4      1/1      2/1       3/1


#2 Guest_Bittersweetella_*

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Posted 19 August 2013 - 10:50 PM

Very nice of you to make this post, you might have even saved someone's life. <3


  • starved4perfection, SemiCharmedLife, bulimicb and 10 others like this

#3 empty emily

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Posted 19 August 2013 - 10:52 PM

Very nice of you to make this post, you might have even saved someone's life. <3

 

Thank you, love. I hope at least a few people will read this.


  • Jackie1, The Will of Skinny, MamaMadden07 and 36 others like this

it's easy, there's a trick to it, you do it or you die.

H: 5'4" // CW:119 // BMI20.4

160 155 150 145 140 135 130 125 120 115 110 105

 6/1     6/4     6/8     6/15    6/23    7/8    7/31     8/25    11/4      1/1      2/1       3/1


#4 Avada Kedavra

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Posted 19 August 2013 - 11:14 PM

Thank you Emily.
Would you mind being a sort of mentor for me? I don't know if it's too much to ask but you seem like the type of help and support I am looking for. I have friends who are naturally so thin and get all the attention and I feel like I've sort of given up on myself and let my self get to a point where I am desperate to do whatever I can to change. I'm not obese just about 10-15 pounds or so over weight, I know I'll never be as thin as them but in comparison I honestly feel like I am huge. Plus I'm shorter. I know comparing myself is bad and I shouldn't do it but I can't help it when I plainly see people treating us differently based on how we look. I am not happy with my body and it really deeply upsets me.

If you can't and know of any other options for me I'd be greatful to hear that too.
  • Tulips, MooMooGirl, Fady1988 and 12 others like this

myfitnesspal: JeshiLaLa

height: 5'4.5"

age 22


HW: 153


SW: 146


CW: 118.4

 

GW1: 120

 

GW2: 115

 


#5 empty emily

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Posted 19 August 2013 - 11:31 PM

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Thank you Emily.
Would you mind being a sort of mentor for me? I don't know if it's too much to ask but you seem like the type of help and support I am looking for. I have friends who are naturally so thin and get all the attention and I feel like I've sort of given up on myself and let my self get to a point where I am desperate to do whatever I can to change. I'm not obese just about 10-15 pounds or so over weight, I know I'll never be as thin as them but in comparison I honestly feel like I am huge. Plus I'm shorter. I know comparing myself is bad and I shouldn't do it but I can't help it when I plainly see people treating us differently based on how we look. I am not happy with my body and it really deeply upsets me.

If you can't and know of any other options for me I'd be greatful to hear that too.

 

If you'd like to change your body, you're very welcome to seek support here. We will help you, but I do encourage you to do things right the first time so that you can still love yourself and so that you can keep off any weight you feel like loosing.

 

A big problem for girls (and some guys), especially in this day and age, is body image. Sweetheart, you've got to realize that you are not defined by the way you look. You are so much more than that. Maybe you're an athlete or you like to read at home by the window while it's raining. Maybe you're smart, or maybe you're artistic, or maybe you have a job that really makes a difference in people's lives. Maybe you like cats, maybe you like dogs. Maybe you hate animals, who knows? Maybe you're great at something that all of your friends are jealous of you for. Maybe you're a writer or you play video games, or you like the taste of chocolate cake more than anything else. Maybe your handwriting is horrible or you always give away the punchline of a joke and you can never tell stories just right-- but that's all okay.

 

You are yourself and that's all that matters. And if someone is going to treat you differently or think less of you because you're not at a certain weight or your nose is too big or your eyes are a little droopy or your hands aren't the right size or you don't have your belly button pierced or you have your ears stretched so big you can flip your lobes up over your head or because you have tattoos all over or your boobs are small or your butt is flat-- or even because you're too skinny or your nose is too small or your eyes are too wide or anything-- if anyone is going to base their opinion of you off of your appearance, they do not deserve to be in your life.

 

If you want to lose weight, you should be losing it for yourself. You should lose it because you want to. You should lose it because it will make you more confident about yourself. You should lose it because you want to look a certain way, because you deserve to look however you want to look.

 

But please, please don't lose weight so that you can compare yourself to others. You deserve to love your body. You deserve to be confident in that crop top or those tight jeans that make your butt look good. You deserve to do all of these things that I just can't do.

 

We'll support you while you're here and I can tell you everything I know about weight loss, but please don't go about this the wrong way, and please don't do it for the wrong reasons. You deserve to love yourself.


  • Angelica84, cleo, Julia K and 69 others like this

it's easy, there's a trick to it, you do it or you die.

H: 5'4" // CW:119 // BMI20.4

160 155 150 145 140 135 130 125 120 115 110 105

 6/1     6/4     6/8     6/15    6/23    7/8    7/31     8/25    11/4      1/1      2/1       3/1


#6 Avada Kedavra

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Posted 19 August 2013 - 11:51 PM

Thanks again. :') that helps. There is so much more that I can say but I'd rather not go back and forth on something so public. But your words did touch me and are appreciated.
  • Tracedaace, Anavrin, IWannabe... and 2 others like this

myfitnesspal: JeshiLaLa

height: 5'4.5"

age 22


HW: 153


SW: 146


CW: 118.4

 

GW1: 120

 

GW2: 115

 


#7 empty emily

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Posted 19 August 2013 - 11:52 PM

Thanks again. :') that helps. There is so much more that I can say but I'd rather not go back and forth on something so public. But your words did touch me and are appreciated.

 

Any time, love. You're welcome to message me if you'd like.


  • Kwade7777, sincerelylondon, Problems21 and 1 other like this

it's easy, there's a trick to it, you do it or you die.

H: 5'4" // CW:119 // BMI20.4

160 155 150 145 140 135 130 125 120 115 110 105

 6/1     6/4     6/8     6/15    6/23    7/8    7/31     8/25    11/4      1/1      2/1       3/1


#8 empty emily

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Posted 20 August 2013 - 02:20 AM

I'll be bumping this thread for a few days to keep it towards the top.


  • Skinny me 5, Ballad of a Teardrop, Marion2018 and 1 other like this

it's easy, there's a trick to it, you do it or you die.

H: 5'4" // CW:119 // BMI20.4

160 155 150 145 140 135 130 125 120 115 110 105

 6/1     6/4     6/8     6/15    6/23    7/8    7/31     8/25    11/4      1/1      2/1       3/1


#9 Brunhilde

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Posted 20 August 2013 - 02:36 AM

Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU for making this post!!  I feel like we can all use a reminder that this is an all-inclusive community.  We're here to help each other, no matter what kinda things we may be going through!

 

So much love <3


  • empty emily, pinkbunny, peter and 5 others like this

"Be quick, but don't hurry. By that I meant, make a decision and take action; decide what you're going to do and do it. Keep this word of caution in mind: Failure to act is often the biggest failure of all."

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#10 empty emily

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Posted 20 August 2013 - 05:01 AM

xx

it's easy, there's a trick to it, you do it or you die.

H: 5'4" // CW:119 // BMI20.4

160 155 150 145 140 135 130 125 120 115 110 105

 6/1     6/4     6/8     6/15    6/23    7/8    7/31     8/25    11/4      1/1      2/1       3/1


#11 mytinydeath

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Posted 20 August 2013 - 06:34 AM

I wish this topic was already here When I signed in :c Maybe it wouldn't got this bad :c
  • empty emily, Biggirl, Zzzz1989 and 4 others like this

Ultimate weight: death.  - Mental fuckup.  - Classical fat one.  


#12 Angelica84

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Posted 20 August 2013 - 08:54 AM

Emily..you are amazing! your posts touched me so deeply.beautiful!
  • empty emily, pinkbunny and BloodWench like this
"You will not stop. The pain is necessary, especially the pain of hunger. It reassures you that you are strong, can withstand anything, that you are not a slave to your body, you don’t have to give in to its whining.”

— from Marya Hornbacher’s Wasted


5'8 (172 cm)

SW: 134 (61 kg)

CW: 130 (59kg)

GW:110 (50 kg)

#13 empty emily

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Posted 20 August 2013 - 02:36 PM

Clarissa, I'm hoping this helps at least one person <3

Thank you Angelica!

it's easy, there's a trick to it, you do it or you die.

H: 5'4" // CW:119 // BMI20.4

160 155 150 145 140 135 130 125 120 115 110 105

 6/1     6/4     6/8     6/15    6/23    7/8    7/31     8/25    11/4      1/1      2/1       3/1


#14 empty emily

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Posted 20 August 2013 - 04:10 PM

xx


it's easy, there's a trick to it, you do it or you die.

H: 5'4" // CW:119 // BMI20.4

160 155 150 145 140 135 130 125 120 115 110 105

 6/1     6/4     6/8     6/15    6/23    7/8    7/31     8/25    11/4      1/1      2/1       3/1


#15 DarkAngelGal

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Posted 20 August 2013 - 05:27 PM

Nice post! Agree with it 100%! Hopefully every new member will see this in the future!

 

But I thought my way around the whole "once you start restricting yourself, you can't stop or you'll gain weight". Well, of course, once I stop, I'll gain weight, but I decided to make my UGW 100 for a reason. You see, my real goal weight is 115 but I'm shooting lower, so that once I gain the weight, it will still be less than 120. (Of course, I'll still exercise and stuff so that I won't gain it all back...and I'll take it slow too.)

 

Then from there, I shall swear to myself to NEVER allow my body weight to be above 120!

 

That's pretty much how I'm gonna go about this.


  • Jaychloe, I Am Perfection, lionsrkool and 1 other like this

                                                                                                     SW: 138 :angry:

                                                                                                     CW: 128 <_<

                                                                                                     GW1: 125 ;)

                                                                                                     GW2: 115 ^_^

                                                                                                      UGW:100 :D


#16 empty emily

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Posted 20 August 2013 - 07:34 PM

Nice post! Agree with it 100%! Hopefully every new member will see this in the future!

 

But I thought my way around the whole "once you start restricting yourself, you can't stop or you'll gain weight". Well, of course, once I stop, I'll gain weight, but I decided to make my UGW 100 for a reason. You see, my real goal weight is 115 but I'm shooting lower, so that once I gain the weight, it will still be less than 120. (Of course, I'll still exercise and stuff so that I won't gain it all back...and I'll take it slow too.)

 

Then from there, I shall swear to myself to NEVER allow my body weight to be above 120!

 

That's pretty much how I'm gonna go about this.

 

The thing is, you can very easily lose this weight the healthy way, without harming your body. Your metabolism will slow down, your stomach will shrink, and you won't be able to eat normally ever again. What you're going to end up doing is hitting 100, then (if you're not irreparably mentally or physically damaged at the end of all this) you'll shoot back up, higher than you've ever been. I know, because this happened to me in recovery. I gained 66lbs. I had never been that big, ever.

 

This "diet" is depriving your body of nutrients that it needs to function properly. You are starving yourself. We have to do this because we are mentally ill, but you do not. You can quit whenever you want to. And we envy you for that, and we all want you to stop. We all want you to turn this around before you become an empty shell of a girl, only bones, only skin. Your hair will fall out and your nails will chip and you'll break out and you'll grow tiny hairs all over your body to stay warm. This kills more people than any other mental disorder, and the "starvation diet" that you're on is dangerous.

 

Please stop while you can... we all wish that we could. We all wish this was just a diet, just a way to lose weight. We all wish we could have that slice of cake or that piece of pizza without hating ourselves and hurting ourselves and feeling guilty, over one item of food.

 

We don't want this for you, love. We want you to be happy and healthy and have a long, long life, loving yourself and not defining your worth based solely on your weight. We don't want you to be like us...


  • SkinTight, BeanpoleThin, fastinggirl55 and 7 others like this

it's easy, there's a trick to it, you do it or you die.

H: 5'4" // CW:119 // BMI20.4

160 155 150 145 140 135 130 125 120 115 110 105

 6/1     6/4     6/8     6/15    6/23    7/8    7/31     8/25    11/4      1/1      2/1       3/1


#17 empty emily

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Posted 20 August 2013 - 10:05 PM

xx


  • Jibsher likes this

it's easy, there's a trick to it, you do it or you die.

H: 5'4" // CW:119 // BMI20.4

160 155 150 145 140 135 130 125 120 115 110 105

 6/1     6/4     6/8     6/15    6/23    7/8    7/31     8/25    11/4      1/1      2/1       3/1


#18 empty emily

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Posted 20 August 2013 - 11:28 PM

xx


it's easy, there's a trick to it, you do it or you die.

H: 5'4" // CW:119 // BMI20.4

160 155 150 145 140 135 130 125 120 115 110 105

 6/1     6/4     6/8     6/15    6/23    7/8    7/31     8/25    11/4      1/1      2/1       3/1


#19 empty emily

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Posted 21 August 2013 - 01:04 AM

xx
  • BecomeHer likes this

it's easy, there's a trick to it, you do it or you die.

H: 5'4" // CW:119 // BMI20.4

160 155 150 145 140 135 130 125 120 115 110 105

 6/1     6/4     6/8     6/15    6/23    7/8    7/31     8/25    11/4      1/1      2/1       3/1


#20 empty emily

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Posted 21 August 2013 - 06:46 AM

xx

it's easy, there's a trick to it, you do it or you die.

H: 5'4" // CW:119 // BMI20.4

160 155 150 145 140 135 130 125 120 115 110 105

 6/1     6/4     6/8     6/15    6/23    7/8    7/31     8/25    11/4      1/1      2/1       3/1




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