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PLEASE don't be offended: why aren't you guys bulimic


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#641 mrxa

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Posted 05 May 2021 - 08:28 PM

I’ve always wanted to, but I don’t have the privacy to do it. My house only has one toilet and the walls might as well be made out of paper, they would be able to hear everything. I tried purging in th[...]

LITERALLY SAME
I did purge when I was on a vacation with friends last year because I could make a situation to be alone inside. But at home people are ALWAYS near and I don't wanna risk getting caught. Exercising isn't my thing at all and I'm lazy af so I'm basically stuck if I don't restrict
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#642 Fadedbones

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Posted 05 May 2021 - 11:19 PM

I used to be anorexic a LOOONNGGG time ago, then it morphed into BED when I was forced to recover, then I moved on into trying to purge... I’m a really BAD purger, like I can’t even get 1/10 of the food out, and now I’m in the limbo, I’m EDNOS, have way more binges than restriction phases, and now even more because I’m at home all day because of COVID so, I’m fatter than ever, with MANY wishes to purge, but again the bottom line is: I’m not a purger because I’m bad at it
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#643 hauntao

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Posted 06 May 2021 - 09:09 AM

I was, but my teeth, heart, and digestion were affected by it, so I'd rather be obese for now while trying to lose it healthily.


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#644 n1ghtmus1c

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Posted 06 May 2021 - 11:28 AM

I have emetophobia or fear of vomiting so I couldn't really purge without having a panic attatck. :/
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#645 noturprincess

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Posted 07 May 2021 - 01:24 PM

bulimia is pretty chaotic. I honestly used to wonder the same thing, but having suffered from bulimia on-and-off for long enough now to experience the health consequences and the crazy weight cycling (sometimes I lose weight with purging, sometimes I gain. It's a total crapshoot) I've come to understand why someone would not pick this for themselves if they had the ability to. I've also come to understand that being bulimic does not make me "immune" to weight gain, like I used to think it did. It really throws your hormones out of whack and makes weight loss harder and harder as you age, at least for me and my sluggish thyroid. If I'm in a b/p stage, particularly if my body weight is low and demanding calories, I will b/p all day. It's exhausting. Sometimes I'll just fall asleep after a huge binge without purging because I'm so freaking exhausted, and, ultimately, I give in to eating and not purging regularly because it's the only way to end the cycle. Eventually, I gain whatever weight I lost back (and then some) and realize that I could have saved myself a lot of pain, health consequences, and a hell of a lot of money if I had just given in to binge eating minus the compensatory behavior. Seriously, like tens of thousands of dollars that could be in my bank account right now if I hadn't been spending $100/day on food alone for months on end during my worst period. Not to mention bulimia makes you malnourished/weak, bloated, constipated, gives you chipmunk cheeks, and generally leads to a very "skinny fat" kind of aesthetic that messes with my body image even if I'm at a lower weight. I dare say that, at this point, I would consciously choose being heavier over being bulimic, although I don't really get to choose. Obviously the preference would be lean and also not bulimic--but again, it's not really a choice. 

 

Also I think some people just genuinely hate throwing up enough to not want to do it/aren't physically able to do it


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EDNOSOS 


#646 xxMelancholy_MilkshakexX

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Posted 08 May 2021 - 03:57 PM

I used to be very bulimic, purging 25+ times a day until my family and other close people found out about it. (Somtimes in a daze I would forget to cleanup...smooth I know) anyways now I get extreme anxiety when I'm in the washroom, I feel like people are listening and paying way more attention than they probably are,I haven't purged in a year now. I've convinced everyone that I'm recovered, or at least actively in recovery, I'm horrified people will find out that I'm still eating disordered in other ways tho. Purging just seems to obvious (even if realistically it isn't) I just don't want to take chances being caught again... currently I'm trying hard to restrict through the day and only have one evening meal. But I still catch myself binging occasionally (as I have been a binge eater on and off since I was like 8 ) I don't know, I feel like eating at all will make me obese at this point... so maybe I will start purging again??
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#647 Diet_Coke_Head

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Posted 09 May 2021 - 09:22 AM

Asking questions inquiring minds wanna know!

#648 Daffodil90

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Posted 12 May 2021 - 01:01 AM

I don’t think anyone could pay me enough $$ to put my face close to a school/public toilet.

#649 Jiminiepidy

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Posted 12 May 2021 - 04:04 AM

purging doesn't cause the same euphoria as starving myself or binging does. It just hurts, and when i'm done it doesn't make me feel better. restricting or fasting triggers something in my brain i guess that makes me happy, and euphoric, and unfortunately so does binging. eating makes me feel just as good until i come back to myself. 

 

idk man there have been times i wish i could binge and purge and then go back to restriction, but my ed said "fuck you, that's too easy for you" :/


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#650 s0phIac4ls

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Posted 12 May 2021 - 10:18 AM

I would but I have tried purging so many times, I just can't



#651 bulimicfailure

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Posted 12 May 2021 - 10:49 AM

I’m a frequent purger, so any non-purger feel free to correct me, but I can think of a few reasons:

1) Vomiting is gross to a ton of ppl

2) Lack of gag reflex/ability to vomit

3) Not wanting to risk the health risks associated with purging

4) Fear of vomit

5) Not liking to idea of sticking something down your throat.

6) Or just generally having no desire to self-induce vomiting lol.

Again, I am very much bulimic and purge a ton, so these are just guesses based on intuition lmao
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Forever Relapsing

Also, apparently I've grown an inch. I'm 5'4" now.

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High BMI: 26

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But fucking Bulimia makes everything impossible...

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#652 srnv

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Posted 17 May 2021 - 12:37 PM

I've tried to purge a few times after bingeing and feeling so fat and disgusting, but nothing really comes up. I can stick my fingers all the way back and wiggle them around, but I still can't get the food up. Maybe what I ate wasn't suitable for purging, but either way, after those attempts and how horrible it already made me feel, I gave up trying to purge for real. Just trying to purge made my head hurt and eyes teary and I felt exhausted.



#653 Stella_eve

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Posted 17 May 2021 - 02:08 PM

bulimia is pretty chaotic. I honestly used to wonder the same thing, but having suffered from bulimia on-and-off for long enough now to experience the health consequences and the crazy weight cycling (sometimes I lose weight with purging, sometimes I gain. It's a total crapshoot) I've come to understand why someone would not pick this for themselves if they had the ability to. I've also come to understand that being bulimic does not make me "immune" to weight gain, like I used to think it did. It really throws your hormones out of whack and makes weight loss harder and harder as you age, at least for me and my sluggish thyroid. If I'm in a b/p stage, particularly if my body weight is low and demanding calories, I will b/p all day. It's exhausting. Sometimes I'll just fall asleep after a huge binge without purging because I'm so freaking exhausted, and, ultimately, I give in to eating and not purging regularly because it's the only way to end the cycle. Eventually, I gain whatever weight I lost back (and then some) and realize that I could have saved myself a lot of pain, health consequences, and a hell of a lot of money if I had just given in to binge eating minus the compensatory behavior. Seriously, like tens of thousands of dollars that could be in my bank account right now if I hadn't been spending $100/day on food alone for months on end during my worst period. Not to mention bulimia makes you malnourished/weak, bloated, constipated, gives you chipmunk cheeks, and generally leads to a very "skinny fat" kind of aesthetic that messes with my body image even if I'm at a lower weight. I dare say that, at this point, I would consciously choose being heavier over being bulimic, although I don't really get to choose. Obviously the preference would be lean and also not bulimic--but again, it's not really a choice. 

 

Also I think some people just genuinely hate throwing up enough to not want to do it/aren't physically able to do it

Fr, purging in and of itself feels chaotic af. After a massive binge, the panic and the guilt sinks in, I see how much my stomach had expanded and it's like the toilet is fucking luring me in. I can't stop thinking about needing to do it, until I do. As I'm doing it, I'm playing as much sounds as possible to drown the gagging. And my mind is constantly thinking about that one picture of that girl who unfortunately died during a purge. I keep thinking, please don't die, please don't die. I do one or two rounds, because flushing can quite literally kill you instantly. Then I just sit there, tears and puke on my face. It's not pretty. It's disgusting and I hate having to do it. I've purged in public toilets, family members' houses, friends' houses, in a trash bag, in a bush, behind a fucking dumpster. It's also very common to get toilet water splash back in your face or eyes like a big fuck you from the universe. And also the consistent tonsillitis isn't fun either. I completely understand why someone wouldn't want to purge.

 

It takes more self control to NOT purge and in that, I applaud binge eaters. I'm too much of a coward to sit there and face what I've done. For me, a binge/purge episode can last as little as 20 minutes. I eat the monolithic amount of food quickly, then immediately purge and straight after that with no break I clean everything up; the puke in the toilet, the trash from the food, all of it. And I dispose of everything, then act like it never happened. Then I obviously get hungry again and the cycle starts again unless I break it with my restriction periods (which I prefer for obvious reasons).


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#654 noturprincess

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Posted 17 May 2021 - 08:18 PM

Fr, purging in and of itself feels chaotic af. After a massive binge, the panic and the guilt sinks in, I see how much my stomach had expanded and it's like the toilet is fucking luring me in. I can't stop thinking about needing to do it, until I do. As I'm doing it, I'm playing as much sounds as possible to drown the gagging. And my mind is constantly thinking about that one picture of that girl who unfortunately died during a purge. I keep thinking, please don't die, please don't die. I do one or two rounds, because flushing can quite literally kill you instantly. Then I just sit there, tears and puke on my face. It's not pretty. It's disgusting and I hate having to do it. I've purged in public toilets, family members' houses, friends' houses, in a trash bag, in a bush, behind a fucking dumpster. It's also very common to get toilet water splash back in your face or eyes like a big fuck you from the universe. And also the consistent tonsillitis isn't fun either. I completely understand why someone wouldn't want to purge.

 

It takes more self control to NOT purge and in that, I applaud binge eaters. I'm too much of a coward to sit there and face what I've done. For me, a binge/purge episode can last as little as 20 minutes. I eat the monolithic amount of food quickly, then immediately purge and straight after that with no break I clean everything up; the puke in the toilet, the trash from the food, all of it. And I dispose of everything, then act like it never happened. Then I obviously get hungry again and the cycle starts again unless I break it with my restriction periods (which I prefer for obvious reasons).

 

This sounds exactly like me. I used to just completely isolate myself and live in the mess of my constant b/ping but it was gross and depressing and I refuse to live like that again, but now I don't even enjoy it anymore because I'm so paranoid about just getting the food down so that I can then get it up so that I can then clean up my mess and pretend like it never happened but I ALWAYS get hungry again after that and almost always end up repeating it even though I spent like an hour wiping down the toilet and showering and throwing out all the binge food? lmao. And I'm always super paranoid that I smell like puke after or that I missed a spot on the toilet or on my face. and omg the places I've done it. Literally in my parents back yard (into a trash bag that I then tossed in the neighbor's bin), or at my grandpa's house the day that he died. seriously. dead corpse in the other room, me binging dinner in the bathroom next door. public bathrooms where people are constantly going in and out and can rly obviously hear me, often in buffets. I have no shame  :rolleyes:


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EDNOSOS 


#655 Sloane-Shanahan

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Posted 18 May 2021 - 01:48 AM

I used to purge, but I haven't in years.  I have no idea how I just stopped and don't feel tempted to do it.  Something deep in my brain decided it wasn't a viable option for me, maybe because of my already bad teeth, or a fear of the consequences, or just the fact that I hate vomiting.  Whatever the case, I did it for several months, met most of the classification for bulimia, and then quit without trying at all; I just knew one day I wasn't ever going to do it again.

Instead I go through cycles of bingeing and fasting/restricting all the time.  I'm currently challenging myself to just eat a 'regular' amount of food every day, like 1500-1800 every day, and that feels harder than binge/nothing/binge/nothing, etc.


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#656 Tanha

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Posted 20 May 2021 - 03:50 AM

I used to be bulimic and honestly it was more miserable than anything. I didn't lose much weight w/ it because I'd only purge binges (not everything I ate), and I wouldn't get it all up usually. It was worse than just binging bc I could bp multiple times a day, whereas, if I'm forced to sit w/ a binge, I physically can't eat much more that day. Also, quitting purging was really hard, and I don't want to go through that again... I was starting to get bad bulimia side-effects and was generally always miserable. I'd honestly rather just gain weight than have to throw up all the time, and spend even more on binging.


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#657 winter soldier

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Posted 20 May 2021 - 08:24 AM

i like having teeth. also the horror stories (we all know **that** picture, and back when i was like 12 on twitter this girl posted a picture of her mouth and she had lost like. pretty much all of her tweet bc of bulimia). even though it’s difficult, i have and only would in the future purge via exercise or fasting. binging already makes me miserable and probably has horrible health effects, vomiting would probably compound that and make it work. i ate expired dairy once and had horrible vomiting... honestly i could never bring myself to do that to myself purposefully.

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#658 HipsRUs

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Posted 20 May 2021 - 10:15 PM

I've tried it but I hate puking and it's hard to hide.

#659 gorekid

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Posted 21 May 2021 - 06:08 AM

i cant believe someone was dumb enough to ask this question lmao
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#660 noimsick

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Posted 21 May 2021 - 08:42 AM

I used to purge, but I haven't in years.  I have no idea how I just stopped and don't feel tempted to do it.  Something deep in my brain decided it wasn't a viable option for me, maybe because of my already bad teeth, or a fear of the consequences, or just the fact that I hate vomiting.  Whatever the case, I did it for several months, met most of the classification for bulimia, and then quit without trying at all; I just knew one day I wasn't ever going to do it again.

Instead I go through cycles of bingeing and fasting/restricting all the time.  I'm currently challenging myself to just eat a 'regular' amount of food every day, like 1500-1800 every day, and that feels harder than binge/nothing/binge/nothing, etc.

 Yes exactly ! Its so hard to just eat a regular amount, its either practically everything, or barely anything




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