Anyone else feel like they are too old to be here? - Page 4 - Age 40+ - Forums and Community

Jump to content


About MPA

MPA is a site dedicated to the support or recovery of those suffering from eating disorders or body dysmorphic disorders. Please be sensitive to this fact when creating an account and contributing to the board.


Anyone else feel like they are too old to be here?


  • Please log in to reply
194 replies to this topic

#61 emma-dilemma

emma-dilemma

    Advanced Warrior

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 397 posts

Posted 23 October 2016 - 01:34 AM

I feel way to old to be here. I've had an ED for 25 years. How sad is that?? Therapy didn't help. I KNEW what I was doing was harming my body. I don't like to take unnecessary meds. Honestly, do I need any?? I just need to STOP STUFFING MY FACE when I get an emotion. Any emotion.

Reading the posts of the really young people breaks my heart. I want to go back in time and tell myself it's not bad to be you. I try to leave positive posts when I can, but as a former youngster, it's a moot point.

There are good and bad aspects to this site. I have found a lot more positive than negative. That is a good thing. Especially when my ED isolates me from my life. Every shred of support helps.

 

I wish the younger members could truly understand the long term issues that can arise. When you're a teenager you feel invincible and never think you're going to get old.

I made a lot of much needed positive changes in my late 30's (gave up ciggies, gained some weight, quit the majority of my substance use etc) only to lose 12 teeth just before I turned 40 due to a combination of damage from long term opiate use (which causes chronic dry mouth) and purging. And I am very pedantic about brushing, flossing and using biotine mouthwash etc so I always thought I was fixing any potential damage, you know?

 

I also have hip dysplasia and have had 3 major surgeries between 2012-2014 and developed stress fractures in my pelvis requiring bone grafts and extensive plating (15 screws and the entire left side of my pelvic ring is plated) and even with all that the fractures still haven't healed properly, so I have real issues with bone health and healing and now have osteoarthritis and chronic pain.

 

I remember when I went in to get my teeth pulled having a crying fit in the dentist's chair because I felt like all the positive changes had been for nought- too little, too late.

 

Sometimes even with recovery the damage we do is there for life and doesn't become apparent until we are much older and it is a very bitter pill to swallow after trying so hard to do the right thing only to discover the damage is already done :(

 

So I wish they could grasp the longer term consequences that EDs and other shitty coping mechanisms can have on your life, because they just don't. I guess in many ways you can't. Not until it comes back to bite you in the arse when you think you've turned the corner :mellow:


  • PinkAngelWings, Lucille_, Ladybugz and 1 other like this

                                     breakingGlass%20Large1.jpg 

 

 

 

loureedsmack.jpg  david-bowie-4.jpg

 

                                                                                                                      

                                               FullSizeRender.jpg

 

 

 

 


#62 Guest_Lash_*

Guest_Lash_*
  • Guests

Posted 24 October 2016 - 03:38 AM

I feel fine here. It's the ones under 18...I don't think it's a good place for them.
  • earthboundmisfit and ScottMachonnil12 like this

#63 earthboundmisfit

earthboundmisfit

    The Village Idiot

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 12224 posts
  • LocationUSA

Posted 25 October 2016 - 09:49 PM

I'm 50 years old, have had an eating disorder since age 16...thirty-four years.


Like Gold to Aery Thinness Beat  ~John Donne



Truly my soul waiteth upon God:  from Him cometh my salvation.  He only is my rock and my salvation; He is my defence; I shall not be greatly moved. 


~ Psalm 62:1-2


#64 herekittykitty99

herekittykitty99

    Member

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 10 posts

Posted 26 October 2016 - 09:36 AM

I'm 55 and I'm glad you made this post.  I see that I'm not the only one who had anorexia before it was a thing.  


  • Ambient-ringing, SkyeByrd75, Ladybugz and 1 other like this

#65 Ladybugz

Ladybugz

    Newbie

  • Members
  • Pip
  • 9 posts

Posted 31 October 2016 - 03:53 PM

I'm 55 and I'm glad you made this post.  I see that I'm not the only one who had anorexia before it was a thing.


No kidding! I just turned 53 and I was diagnosed in my 20's when the only person I had ever heard of having an ED was Karen Carpenter. Now there are so many different types of EDs with new forms coming to light such as the CS (chew / spit).
Height: 5'6"
CW: 123
LW: 85
GW 1: 110
GW2: 100
GW3: 90

#66 Kusic

Kusic

    Member

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 24 posts
  • LocationUSA

Posted 31 October 2016 - 08:01 PM

Newbie here. I wasn't sure (due to my age - 46) about joining this site...if there were really any older women here. I'm so glad to see there are. I never would have imagined in high school that my future old self would even care about weight. Over the years I've waited for that age to come where I would no longer care, however, I feel just as obsessed as I did as a teen. The only difference now is that I feel less fearful about it. But I have to say, it all really messes with my sense of maturity. (Or maybe I haven't reached that yet). :)
  • Ladybugz likes this

#67 Duch

Duch

    Member

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 11 posts

Posted 18 November 2016 - 11:49 PM

I'm 44 and I can't remember a time when I didn't hate my body. I'm glad (seems weird to be glad) there are people who can relate to "adulting" while being like I am. I've never been large, but I have always felt like I am. I honestly never thought I'd live this long, but here I am still. I know my body hates me, and rightly so, I suppose.
  • taco_and_420 likes this

#68 taco_and_420

taco_and_420

    Advanced Guru

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 751 posts
  • Locationthe wrong coast

Posted 19 November 2016 - 04:52 PM

I am 41 and have been struggling since I was 13.  I would love to connect with people my own age who understand what it is like to have a career and a marriage and an eating disorder.

 

Hi. That's why I came here too. I turned 40 this summer and  I have been bulimic since I was 15. (25 years!!!!?!?!?!) 

 

I have a professional career,  own a home and I'm in the process of getting a divorce. Much different than most it seems! Well, not this forum. 

 

 

 

when I look at the "thinspo" pics I am usually horrified.  I'd be happy to look like some of the "before" shots..ha..ha



#69 artjen

artjen

    Newbie

  • New Members
  • Pip
  • 2 posts

Posted 21 November 2016 - 11:30 PM

I'm 44 and definitely feel too old to be here, but i am. I feel comfortable reading all the posts because i can relate. I've had an ed since age 16. I've gone through phases where it was intense and then times where i felt almost normal or recovered.

I sailed through my 20s feeling invincible, seeking the ultimate thin-ness. I met my ex husband at age 31 and he grew suspicious and confronted me. He was concerned and we went to counseling. I begrudgingly participated. I with a nutritionist, counted calories, ate right. I ended up feeling normal for a few years, but the ed was always lurking in back of my mind. I ended filing for divorce years later. The anxiety and stress of that propelled me back into being able to let ed control me. Since then i feel like I've been half in, half out. Eating normally but also with ed thoughts. My weight is at a low point, for me. Not sure what i want next...

#70 Jada999

Jada999

    Newbie

  • New Members
  • Pip
  • 2 posts

Posted 22 November 2016 - 01:15 PM

Just joined. Can't say I feel too old to be here. Been doing this on and off for 35 years. Definitely back on. There have been years where I've been better but I can't say the thoughts have even completely gone away. It is and was always a control thing for me. Sounds so silly that an eating disorder that controls your life somehow makes you feel more in control of your life.
  • Teapot likes this

#71 JessicaX

JessicaX

    Omniscient

  • Accountability access
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 5043 posts

Posted 22 November 2016 - 05:22 PM

I'm 46. Been bulimic or an b/p for more than 30 years. I only feel too old to be here when I see most of posts in bulimia channel are from much younger folk but I still relate to a lot of it and I find younger women much wiser to their illness than I was at that age (20-30).
  • Teapot likes this
<p>literally dying to feel normal | Height 5ft/153cm | SW 132lbs | CW 46.3lbs | BMI 9 | General Condition Up an down

#72 Guest_Botanicals_*

Guest_Botanicals_*
  • Guests

Posted 22 November 2016 - 05:25 PM

Just joined. Can't say I feel too old to be here. Been doing this on and off for 35 years. Definitely back on. There have been years where I've been better but I can't say the thoughts have even completely gone away. It is and was always a control thing for me. Sounds so silly that an eating disorder that controls your life somehow makes you feel more in control of your life.

 

 

Yes, that.  The illusion of control is strong, and somehow it seems to work, at least until things go too far or the weight loss slows or stops, or reverses.


  • Teapot likes this

#73 BadIdea

BadIdea

    Warrior

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 238 posts
  • LocationMichigan, US

Posted 22 November 2016 - 11:55 PM

I'm also very new here (hi!). I'm 39, but I'll be 40 in less than two months, and honestly, 39 is so close to 40 that I just consider myself 40 (i "round up" my age AND my calories, heh). This place is weird... the, um, youth really shows in certain forums... but I'm also a womanchild, so... IDK.

I'm embarrassed that my ED has been my secret identity for my entire adult life. I'm angry that my GP has threatened involuntary hospitalization (and I suspect she's bluffing, as my psych told me that only a psych can do that, and psych isn't concerned) based solely on my weight, which is NOT dangerously low. I'm too old for this shit.

#74 Ambient-ringing

Ambient-ringing

    Warrior

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 123 posts
  • LocationDenver, Colorado.

Posted 23 November 2016 - 01:19 AM

I'm also very new here (hi!). I'm 39, but I'll be 40 in less than two months, and honestly, 39 is so close to 40 that I just consider myself 40 (i "round up" my age AND my calories, heh). This place is weird... the, um, youth really shows in certain forums... but I'm also a womanchild, so... IDK.

I'm embarrassed that my ED has been my secret identity for my entire adult life. I'm angry that my GP has threatened involuntary hospitalization (and I suspect she's bluffing, as my psych told me that only a psych can do that, and psych isn't concerned) based solely on my weight, which is NOT dangerously low. I'm too old for this shit.

Crap, I know, I tell myself everyday "I am too old for this, I am freak'n 46, male, single dad, so wtf am I doing?" My Ed has lost friends, stressed loved ones, and I still do my best to hide it, but no longer hide it from myself. Yet here we are, welcome friend :)



#75 ScottMachonnil12

ScottMachonnil12

    Advanced Warrior

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 350 posts
  • LocationHere

Posted 29 November 2016 - 02:19 PM

Yep.


In and out every few months because I can't stay away...MPA's "longest serving newbie."

5'11"
​CW 162
LW  117 (adult) 87 (16 y/o @ 5'9")
​HW  225
​UGW 70

o-GAS-900.jpg?6
 


#76 Teapot

Teapot

    Warrior

  • Accountability access
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 197 posts
  • LocationDown Under

Posted 03 December 2016 - 01:17 AM

I'm 43...had 18months of out patient treatment, managed recovery...rather too well up to 195 pounds!! They said was from body being starved...lol was from me eating everything i could lay my hands on and meds that stopped me wanting to purge and restrict! Was ok for 6 months just living my chubby life then Boom, woke up last weekend and ED back! Restricting and B/P and exercising obsessively...feel like I've made up with my best friend.

#77 Teapot

Teapot

    Warrior

  • Accountability access
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 197 posts
  • LocationDown Under

Posted 03 December 2016 - 01:17 AM

I'm 43...had 18months of out patient treatment, managed recovery...rather too well up to 195 pounds!! They said was from body being starved...lol was from me eating everything i could lay my hands on and meds that stopped me wanting to purge and restrict! Was ok for 6 months just living my chubby life then Boom, woke up last weekend and ED back! Restricting and B/P and exercising obsessively...feel like I've made up with my best friend.
  • scolastepover likes this

#78 Guest_LaylaMae_*

Guest_LaylaMae_*
  • Guests

Posted 06 December 2016 - 07:18 PM

I'm 46 and had an ed since my teens, mostly binge then restrict cycles with periods of ana thrown in. Am currently at a higher weight and am every bit as obsessed as I was when I was younger, actually it's probably gotten worse!

#79 mynxlette

mynxlette

    Warrior

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 122 posts

Posted 07 December 2016 - 03:43 AM

I'm 46 and would say I like it here. My food issues have only been around 10 or so years. Sadly my oldest daughter, just a few hours ago groaned when my dieting was mentioned and said what diet hadn't I tried??? My issues unfortunately are not secrets.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

#80 misleadtoperfection

misleadtoperfection

    Advanced Member

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 114 posts

Posted 07 December 2016 - 07:51 PM

I am only 33 and feel too old to be here, yet here I am. I been at this since 14. I was never a "Pro" to it. More like crash diets turned ED all my life. I start out the right way, saying "I got this" "I won't let it get out of control". Setting goals, keeping track and focused on a reasonable number. But yeah, epic failure every single time. I was always told "You come from a big boned family, you'll never be sexy skinny". So hearing that my entire obese high school years didn't help. It's sick how proud I am to have gone from obese to underweight but to hate it and everyone who compliments me on it now. In the beginning of my 2 year downward spiral, I enjoyed the "You go girl" and the "wow you look amazing to have had that many kids". I get triggered by comments or looks. I avoid as many people/things as I can to have a Restrict & B/P Free day here and there.  And sadly this last relapse was to please someone else in the beginning. :(


  • Foreverlonely likes this


0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users